In My Heart
by BrucasGrl309
Summary: She was perfect, and everyone envied that. But when Blair becomes pregnant and her world starts to crumble infront of her eyes, she can't seem to find the perfect answer to her problems. C/B with some N/B, N/S, and B/S.
1. Fake Firsts

She gave him a hug, smelling his newly washed green sweater. The sweater she had given to him so long ago. Promising that she would be his forever, and only his. She hated herself for sliding from that. For taking a step away from that perfect guy. In a way, she was proud of herself. Never again would she have to wonder about the possibily of someone else. She had experienced it and now it was over. She would go back to Nate, the only guy she could see in her future. "I love you" She whispered in his ear. Blair kissed him on the neck, lingering on his skin until her lips make their way up to his own mouth. He held her head, kissing her back, deeper than the one she had given him. 

"I guess..." He said looking down at the ground for a second "I love you too" And then he slid his hands under her shirt.

It wasn't what she had expected her first time to begin with. _I guess..._It was almost a joke, she felt like laughing, but it was the truth and it hurt. But if she was ever to put Chuck behind her, she had to take what she could get. And this was the best he could do for her at the moment. He was willing to work on it, and she was willing to help him. "Its okay" She smiled, afterwards, curled up in his arms "We have time. I'm not going anywhere"

* * *

Serena's jaw dropped as she saw her best friend jump and down, explaining her night with Nate "I'm so glad he was my first" She lied, hoping that she could cover all this up, fix it. 

"I'm glad you waited, B" Serena was happy for her best friend but sad that she could never be that happy about her first time "You two are going to make such beautiful babies together" She said half jokingly, laughing a little.

"God, I know! Imagine how happy my mom would be if me and Nate produced something actuall worth while. For the first time in my entire life, she could be_ proud_ of me"

"Blair, she's already proud of you. You get good marks, your never getting into trouble, and your beautiful"

"Not as beautiful as you. If you were her daughter, she would worship the ground you walk on" Serena knew it was ture, even thought she would never admit it "Even now, your more of a daughter to her than I could ever wish to be"

"Blair, thats not true. You are her daughter. She went through nine months of swollen feet and weight gain, and sixteen hours of labor just so she could hold you in her arms"

"A disappointing end though" Blair shook her head, trying to erase the image of a frowning Nate, looking down at the ground as he told her he loved her "Love is more complicated than you think"

Serena could see it in her eyes, without knowing the intamate details, she knew what all this was about "Blair, everyone loves you. Don't worry so much about it, okay?" She was trying to fix all this, she really was, but it didn't help her, not one bit. Becuase the person Blair loved the most didn't love her, at all.

* * *

Blair touched up her mak-up before heading out the door. She walked past the window facing the street and something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. It was a limo with a young guy peering out of its window "Oh crap" She muttered to herself, feeling the blood in her vains boil. She could never has one day without this shit happening "I'm going to kill him" Slipping her coat over her shoulders, she walking down her front steps, straight at the limo "Chuck, you bastard!" Blair yelled across the street "I told you, we are over!" 

"What? You don't want to come back for thirds?" He grinned, stepping out of the car "I actually came to give you a ride to school. As a way to make up for this whole mess. Can't we just be friends?" Chuck looked so handsome in his school uniform, Blair thought. He had his hands behind his back, and seconds later, a bundle of flowers appeared infront of her "Just to show I'm sorry"

Blair plucked them out of his hands and got into the car. They were friends, and there was no reason not to have him drive her to school "Lets go then" She said to him as he slid in beside her.

"Wonderful, I like it when a plan comes together" He smiled at her, and pushed aside a strand of hair in her face "Lets go then"


	2. Something Pretty

This is more Blair-centric, I've decided. I'm going include both sides of this triangle, just to try and make everyone happy. But the whole idea of this story is not for her to end up with one of them, even though that might happen ; )

* * *

"Hey Nate" Blair said, walking up to him "I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. We can watch movies, eat dinner, and maybe talk about...us" She smiled, hoping he would smile back.

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea" He smiled, sending shivers down her back "What time?"

"Around seven" Her mom would be gone again, leaving on one of her trips to Europe. Sometimes she wondered why her mom didn't just move the two of them there "See you then" She squeezed his hand quickly and walked away. She wanted to keep her distance from him until they were officialy together, afraid that he might not see a future for them.

* * *

Blair wanted this night to be as extravegant as her yearly sleepover, and so she had to get started early. She moved all the furniture out of the living room, brought in a kingsized bed with over twenty pillows, moved the big screen from upstairs infront of the bed, and told the maids to take the night off "Just make sure my mom doesn't find out about our little agreement" Blair told the maids, handing out rolls of money "You can all come back at the regular time tomorrow, seven sharp".

And so her night would be perfect. She could picture it all in her head, Blair would tell him how much he still meaned to her, and he would finally tell her he loved her without having to lie, they would make up, and live happily ever after. _Perfect._

* * *

Getting out of the steamy shower, she could hear her phone ringing in her room. When she picked it up, and realized who it was, she wasn't as mad as she thought she would be "Hey Chuck" She ran her fingers through her wet hair, trying to get rid of the knots "I'm kind of busy today"

"Really? I was hoping me and you could go to a movie tonight. My treat" She could hear the buzz of passing cars in the background. He was outside her door, she just knew it.

"I can't, I'm doing something with Nate" Slowly walking to her window, she could hear him sigh "Sorry stalker boy"

There was a pause on the other end as she peared through her window. He looked up at her, very disappointed "Fine, I'm going" He said getting into his limo "But you're missing out in a great night. I was going get the theatre to show _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, just for you"

"Next time" She said, closing her phone. It made her feel guiltly knowing that she felt more excited about her date with Chuck than tonight with Nate.

"He told me, you know" Chuck piped in, knowing she was about to hang up "He told me he finally _deflowered_ the wonderful Blair Waldorf. He seemed very proud" She paused for a second, unsure of how to respond.

"So what if I slept with Nate, and so what if he thinks I was a virgin?" She bit her lip, scared that Chuck had told him the truth.

"You really want to base your relationship with him off of a lie?"

"Well I'm sure you fixed that little mistake, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't. I didn't tell him anything. I wouldn't do that to you" She hated that him for being so nice, and she hated herself for liking it.

"Thanks"

* * *

The house was perfect when Nate walked through the front door. She had placed candles on the floor, making a little path into the living room "I know I might have gone a little overboard but I wanted this night to be perfect. You mean alot to me"

"You mean alot to me too Blair. I wouldn't have come back to you if you didn't. I realize now that relationships take work, and that they can't work if you leave them"

"Well, good" She nodded "Because our relationship defianaly needs work" They sat down on the big bed, still looking at each other "But I don't want to lose you"

"You never lost me, Blair" He kissed her, leaning over her body until she was under him, laying against the soft overs of the bed "I've always been here"

* * *

She woke up, disoriented by her suroundings. When she realized that the boy sleeping next to her was Nate, she smiled and moved closer to him. His body was warm, and she fit perfect into the same curve as him, like spoons. The house was quiet, except for the crackling of the fireplace. She wished this night would never end, that she could spend every minute of her entire life spooning with a sleeping Nate. But then she remembered her move date with Chuck. Her perfect world wouldn't be so perfect after all. 


	3. Relax

**A/N: Next chapter, hope you like it :)**

* * *

"What about this one?" Serena said pulling out a long, green and blue silk dress from the long line of designer dresses Blair's mother had ordered "It'll look really pretty with that diamond necklace you showed me" 

"Oh the one Chuck gave me" Blair almost said to herself as she tried on a pair of heels.

"What? Chuck got you a _diamond necklace_?" Serena frowned, placing the dress in the chair beside her. Blair looked away, trying to think of something to say.

"I think he did. I can't even keep track anymore" She laughed a little, trying to make it seem as though everything was totally normal.

"But Chuck got you a diamond necklace" Serena nodded, letting it sink in "Blair, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I'm not here to judge"

"There is nothing to talk about S. But yes, this dress will look gorgeous with Chuck's necklace" She ran her hand along the perfect seems of the dress.

"I don't want to pry B" Serena said, trying to see if she could get anymore out of her best friend "But-"

"Then don't" Blair interrupted her, kicking the high heels off her feet "I don't even understand what your getting worked up on. Yes, Chuck gave me the necklace for my birthday. But I'm dating Nate. So can we just drop it? Please?"

"Fine, its dropped" Her words were harsh, and the only thing that it proved to Serena was that Blair didn't want her to drop it. One thing she knew about her best friend was that even though she pretended that she wanted to keep everything private, she was begging someone to find out.

* * *

"Good news" Nate said patting Chuck on the back "I think things might finally be back to normal with Blair" The air of Central Park was cold and crisp, turning their breathe into big white puffs. Nate looked at a couple walk by them, holding hands as they laughed together.

Chuck sighed before answering "Nathaniel, that's wonderful"

"For a while there, I was actually afraid I might lose her"

"We all get afraid but things always work out in the end. See?" Chuck wanted to keep his distance from these conversations; coming up with answers he knew Nate wanted "We don't all have to be so goddamn scared all the time"

Nate laughed "What do _you _have to afraid about? Did Lisa find out about Jane? Or did Jane find out about Holly? No, it must have been Holly finding out about Samantha, right?" Nate joked, knowing every single one of Chuck's "special friends" by name.

"Actually, I've stopped the benefits part of my relationship with all women"

"Oh really?" Nate said shocked "Now why would Chuck Bass, the horniest man alive ever let go of that part of his life?"

"It's called growing up Nathaniel, I suggest you try it sometime" Chuck said pulling a joint out from behind his ear.

"And getting high Chuck? That seems real mature"

"Talk to me again when you've stopped liking Serena, and start liking your girlfriend, Blair"

Nate eyed his best friend, pausing before adding "You can have Serena, Chuck. If thats who your after"

"Its not" There was tiny icicles collecting on the trees, pointing down in sharp spikes.

"Then, wait... is it _Blair_?" Nate shook his head, taking a step backward from his best friend "Man, don't tell me you like my girlfriend"

"Relax, there is nothing going on" Chuck hoped Nate would drop it, without him having to admit his feelings.

"But has there ever been anything between you two?" Nate clenched his fists into balls, feeling the anger swell up inside him "Don't lie to me"

"Nathaniel..." Chuck said laughing a little "Come on man"

"Don't lie to me Chuck" Nate said a little louder, walking a little closer to Chuck "Don't test me"

"Yes, yes there was something going on between us" He really wanted to say that it was still going on, but he knew that would be a lie "Its over though, relax"

"You mean...did this happen when me and Blair had broken up?" He hated him, he hated him so much for doing this. How could someone purposely go against a friend like that?

"Yes, but its over" Chuck wanted to make that last part very clear. At the moment, all he wanted was to keep Nate as a friend "I'm so sorry"

"Don't talk to me ever again" Nate shook his head, walking away from Chuck "And stay away Blair"

"This is ridiculous" Chuck said catching up to him. He touched Nate on the shoulder, trying to get him to turn around. Nate responded by swinging around and punching Chuck across the face. He fell back onto the ground, hitting his head on the ice.

"Stay away!" Nate said turning around again, leaving Chuck lying in the middle of Central Park as the cold winter wind rustled the bare branches of the trees above. 

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me" Nate said with a smile." Chuck told me something yesterday"

"What did he tell you?" Blair trusted Chuck, she knew he wouldn't let anything slip, and so she continued picking at the salad infront of her. They were sitting at a small resteraunt two blocks from the school, lucky to get a long lunch break.

"He told me..." Nate started, looking at his girlfriend in front of him. She gave him a smile that told him how much she loved him, pushing her curly hair out of her face. "He told me we could have a suit in his dad's hotel for the long weekend. So I thought we could spend this weekend there, and stay in bed the whole time" He didn't want to end his relationship with her, and so he was willing to forget this. But he couldn't stop feeling as if there was more to the story than Chuck had told him.


	4. Pink Lines

**I just wanted to mention that whatever happens in the next few episodes of GG, I thought of this first.**

* * *

Blair twirled the ruby ring around her finger, feeling the seconds pass by slowly. _Was it really possible?_ She dug into the bottom of her purse to get her phone. Scrolling through the list of names, she came across Serena's. It only took minutes for Serena to get to her house, a drugstore bag in one hand "I got every kind they had. Just in case" 

Blair shook her head "Oh god, what am I going to do?" Her hands were shaking as she opened one of the boxes "What if it's positive? I can't be a mother!" She yelled, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

"Lets not get carried away B. You don't even know for sure"

"Oh but I do Serena. I've been sick for the last two weeks and I've gain five pounds since Cotillion. I feel like I'm growing by the minute"

"Blair, just take the test" The signs seemed obvious to both of them. But Serena was hoping for a negative result, for the sake of Blair's reputation.

"Fine" Blair said grabbing the test out of Serena's hands and making her way into the bathroom. When she came out, her face was pale and Serena knew the answer without even looking at the test.

"Oh B" She sighed, rubbing her friend's shoulder "I'm so sorry"

"Maybe one more test" Blair almost whispered, ruffling through the bag for another box.

The pink line became clearer and clearer after ever test, accompanied by Blair shrieking "No, no, no, no…" Blair said shaking her head. The shaking flicked tears in every direction, making her entire face wet.

"Blair, it'll be okay" Serena said trying to calm her down "Your luckier than most. You have Nate"

"Oh shit" Blair tried to think if it was possible that, god forbid, there was someone else in this "This can't be happening"

"Blair, Blair sweetie listen" Serena held onto Blair's arms, preventing her from moving around so much "Just talk to Nate, you aren't alone in this alone"

"This is not part of the plan Serena" Blair sighed, wiping the tears from her eyes "This wasn't suppose to happen"

"It's gonna be okay" Serena hugged her best friend, letting her continue crying onto her shoulder, soaking her shirt through to the skin "We'll figure this out"

* * *

"Nate" Blair said to her boyfriend the next day at school. Smiling, she kissed him on the cheek and handed him his coffee "We need to talk about something" 

"Okay" He gave her a hopeful smile, holding her hand "What's up?"

Blair looked around at all the people, afraid that someone might over hear "I think we should have this conversation somewhere else"

Nate looked worried, afraid she was going to confess her feelings for Chuck "What about Central Park, 5:30?" He touched her cheek, smiling slightly "Is everything okay?"

"Just promise me you'll stay open minded, okay?" She felt like telling him everything, having him hold her as "We'll talk later" Blair would have said more but she feared someone would overhear.

The air outside was crisp and cold as Blair sat down on the park bench. She loved the fact that by just walking a few feet, you could go from being surrounded by sky scrapers to trees and birds "Where's your boyfriend?" Someone said from behind her. It was a voice she knew so well, the same voice who asked for her permission that night in the limo.

"He's coming" Blair said crossing her arms over her chest "And from what I heard on Gossip Girl, you two aren't exactly besties at the moment" Blair turned around, not surprised to see the purple shiner circling his eye "And then they mentioned that…"

"Yeah well it was my fault, telling him the truth" Chuck shrugged, sitting down next to her.

"What truth?" Blair said shifting away from him. Her hands were beginning to sweat again, and her heart felt like it had dropped down into her stomach "Chuck, don't even" Blair shook her head, feeling her breakfast begin to creep its way up her throat "Oh god, you told him?"

"He didn't take it very well" Chuck said pointing to his eye "But at least I found out something. He really does love you Blair. If he didn't, he _would_ have left you by now" Chuck gently picked up her hand and kissed it "If I had to trust anyone else to take care of you, I would pick Nate"

Blair was surprised that she didn't pull away as he leaned in to kiss her, brushing her cheek with his fingers. Then again when he whispered in her ear "Just what makes you happy" and disappeared into the crowds of people, leaving her with burning lips and a few words, repeating over and over again.

"I hear Chuck told you" Blair said frowning at the different boy sitting next to her on the bench. His face was serious as he stuck his hands in pockets "Nate, I don't know how to even begin to explain all of this"

"Well Blair, like you said the night we started this entire thing over again, we have lots of time" He was angry, and she could understand that. This was how she had felt when he had cheated on her.

"How am I suppose to feel Nate? You were the that told me you weren't over my best friend. Well, unlike you, Chuck isn't in love with Serena"

"And neither am I. The feelings I had for Serena, you can't compare them to how badly I want you back"

"That's what you say now but Nate, I don't if you will ever be able to commit yourself to me the way I want you to" She had forgotten all about why she had wanted to meet him here. But there was an old problem right here, staring back at her with those blue eyes "I just, I don't know if I can do this anymore" Blair kissed him on the cheek, then touched the red lipstick mark she had left behind "Bye"


	5. A Fruit Bowl

Hope you like it :) And if you've seen the trailer for the next episode, you know what I meant in the beginning of the last chapter.

* * *

Becoming a parent was something Blair had thought about since she was six years old. She would cradle the tiny little porcelain doll, rocking her back and forth until Serena would close the plastic little eyelids. They would take turns being mother and father of their little baby, taking it everywhere with them. When their second child came along for Serena's birthday, they decided to make it official. Blair would be mommy and Serena would be daddy, as to not make it confusing for the children. But when Blair turned ten, her mom came into her room with a cardboard box and packed away her dolls, claiming that she was now a young lady, who didn't need to play with dolls. Though Blair promised herself she would someday be a better parent than her mother, she didn't realize that all along she was becoming more and more like her mother.

"Well I didn't expect you to be back so soon" Chuck said with a smile, opening the door to Blair, dressing in black "What do I owe this visit to?"

"I'm done with Nate, once and for all" She took of her jacket and poured herself a glass of brandy. Truthfully, she had never paid much attention in health class, and when she did she always disagreed with what they said. Maybe thats why she as in this predicament "Chuck, damn it, how did we get ourselves into all this?"

He thought for a minute before answering "Serena, I'd say she was the one who started all of this. If your best friend wasn't so damn hot, Nate wouldn't have been tempted"

She took a sip of her drink before punching him hard in the arm "Don't say stuff like that, jeez" She knew he was joking, trying to cheer her up "And the worst thing about all of this is, I actually believed I could _make_ him love me"

"You can't make someone love you Blair" Chuck said frowning "Its either there or its not" He looked straight into her eyes, turning the butterflies in her stomach.

"Yeah, like with us, right?" She smiled slightly, feeling a wave of nausea come over her.

"Yeah, like with us" He leaned in and kissed her. Could she really do it? Go against everything she had planned for herself? Be with Chuck, and have this baby? She pulled away, smacking a hand over her mouth. _Too late_, she thought as she grabbed the bowl of fruit in front of her. Chuck looked worried as Blair started bringing up a chunky, red liquid "Wow Blair, I didn't realize you felt this way about me" Chuck snickered, holding her hair out of the way as she got rid of the rest of her breakfast. She sat back up, as if she had just finished eating.

"Oh, yeah well you've always had a _special_ place in my heart" She smiled, and wiped the remaining vomit from her mouth "I guess I must have caught something"

"Yeah, maybe its the pregnancy bug" He laughed jokingly, but stopped when her face turned serious. "Kidding, of course"

"Don't make jokes like that, Bass" She got up from the couch and picked up her jacket " I should get going, I'm meeting Serena for lunch"

"Well try to keep this meal inside your stomach, okay?" He got up and kissed her on the cheek before she started walking to the door.

"Bye" She gave him a smiled, telling him she was happy with what they were starting here "And sorry about the fruit bowl"

* * *

Serena aligned the booklets in order from most to least likely to be chosen by Blair. This way it would be a little easier for her friend to make her final choice. She checked her phone, _12:45_. Blair was late, again. Serena had been trying to push Blair to make a final decision for almost two weeks now, claiming that the sooner she made a decision the more options she would have. 

"Sorry I'm late" Blair said finally joining Serena at the little cafe, sitting opposite her with the booklets in between them "Traffic was just horrible"

"Well at least you came this time" Serena said under her breath, handing Blair a booklet titled _Unplanned and Undecided: Discovering your options_.

"Oh god" Blair sighed and started flipping through the booklet "I'm so sick of all these booklets telling me what I should or shouldn't do"

"Blair, this is the first one you've read so far" Serena was getting frustrated. It seemed as if she was more worried about Blair's future than Blair was.

"And I'm already sick of it" Blair snapped, dropping the booklet back on the table. She was silent for a few minutes before adding "Reading about what my options are, it doesn't make any of this easier"

"Of course it isn't easy Blair" Serena got up from her chair and moved over to her best friends side. She knelt down and squeezed her arm "Maybe you should start off by telling Nate. I know you two broke up but that doesn't mean he shouldn't know"

"Serena," Blair started, shaking her head. Oh great, now she would have to explain "Its possible that its not Nate who's part of this"

Serena let go of Blair's arm and got up "Blair," She frowned before asking "you mean Nate might not be the father?"

"Its possible" Blair said watching Serena sit down opposite her again "It could be Chuck's"

Serena's face didn't change as she shuffled through the booklets. She put the stack back down on the table and looked up at Blair "Why didn't you tell me earlier Blair? You know I wouldn't judge you"

"Because I realized that if I told people I am pregnant and I don't even know who the father is..." She started to cry and shook her head "It just makes all of this so much harder"

"Have you told Chuck yet?" Serena put the booklets back into her purse, realizing they weren't at the point of decisions yet.

"No, but I will soon" She dried off her eyes and continued "What I had with Chuck had nothing to do with trying to get back at Nate. I wanted to pretend that was the reason but...it wasn't"


	6. Long Way To Go

**Next chapter, sorry its been a while since I put one up. Please reveiw when your done reading :)**

* * *

Blair stood infront of her bathroom mirror, admiring her slender shape. She couldn't believe that in a few months she wouldn't look like this anymore, rounding out like a balloon being inflated "Such a waste" She said under her breathe. Every night before she went to sleep, she would neal beside her bed and pray, pray that this baby would find another teenager to destroy. It didn't quite feel real to her yet, especially since she wasn't sure how far along she was. Serena had tried to convince her to see a doctor, to atleast find out if the baby was okay. As long as her body cooperated, Blair wanted to keep this her situation secret, atleast until her mind was made up about what she wanted to do. Blair still could not bring herself to tell Chuck. It wasn't that she didn't want him to know, she had tried to explain to Serena, it was that she was afraid of what his solution would be. She was sure Chuck wouldn't be the type of guy to smile and tell her everything will be okay. She could imagine him getting angry, telling her that she was the one who had gotten them into this, and that it probably wasn't even his for all he knew.

"Blair!" Her mom yelled from downstairs. She had been home for almost two weeks, which was more than usual. Blair closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Coming!" She yelled back, opening her eyes. Her mom was sitting on the couch, legs crossed and hands in her lap. The man from the Christmas party was sitting beside her, showing off the biggest smile ever.

"Sweetheart, I wanted you to meet Jack...officially. I know it hasn't been long but, we feel like this could really turn into something" She smiled and squeezed his hand "We're getting married"

Jack kissed her mother on the cheek and got up from the couch, sticking his hand out stiffly "I hope you'll welcome me into the family"

She was hesitant to shake his hand, afraid of the types of diseases this strange man could infect her with. But after seeing the glaring face of her mother out of the corner of her eye, she too stuck out her hand and shook his "Of course, our family always seems to be growing" She smiled, then walking back up the stairs, without saying another word.

She felt onto her bed and growned as she curled up into a tiny ball A few seconds later, her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was a text message. As Blair read it, she began miss her past, even though she had hated it at times. She smiled and texted back. There were lessons she was begining to learn, as she learned who in her life was really there for _her, _through good times and bad. Some people, even when you try your best to get rid of them, stick around becuase they trully do love you.

* * *

"Anything new with you B?" Jenny said sitting down beside her on the steps of the Met. Jenny's hair was pulled up into a pony tail, bring out the fact that she was just as pretty as Blair. The fact that another girl was making her way up to the top made Blair cringe, but she had to tolerate it. 

"Nope, same old" She took a sip of her coffee and smiled at Jenny "What about you, little J?"

"Well, I was thinking. You know how you hold a sleepover every year?" She laughed a little, trying to act as if it wasn't the single most important night of her life, the night Blair had let her into the group "I thought maybe I would throw one too"

Blair felt her stomach churne and the urge to gag came back to her. _Not again. _She told the baby "That sounds like a wonderful idea. But your little Brooklyn mansion is barely bigger than my bathroom. How do you expect to hold a party in there?"

Jenny paused for a second before talking. It a quite voice, she said "Its not that small Blair. And did you hear me say the words 'your invited'?" She got up and walked down the steps.

Blairs friends raised their eye brows and smirked "Nice one B" Kati said checking her hair in her compact.

"She's like a little bug buzzing in my ear. I just got sick of it" Blair said getting up to leave. She knew she was taking out her own anger on the fact that her life was falling apart around her.

* * *

Chuck smiled as he saw Blair coming closer to him. He opened his arms up and let her sink into him, taking in his musky boy smell "I hate my life" She felt like crying and crying until she was dried up like a raison. 

"Last time I checked, your life was going pretty well" Chuck pulled her away from him and kissed her "Even if you lost everything, you'd still have me"

"Aww, how lucky can a girl get!" She said sarcasticaly and smiled "I know"

"How about we go out for dinner tonight?" He ran his hands up and down her back as he continued "Official date number one"

"How about we just stay in, watch a movie and eat chinese food?" She wasn't sure if she wanted people knowing about her and Chuck. Especially if rumors about her being with child started up. Chuck frowned and shook his head.

"Are you really that afraid of people finding out about us Blair?" He stopped rubbing her hand and took a step back " Afraid girls might take this as their chance to hook up with the brooding Nate"

"I am not afraid. I don't care how many girls Nate decides to screw from now on" She could picture Nate, making out new girls in all their old spots.

"Prove it" Chuck said taking a step forward again "Go on a date with me tonight"

"Fine" She smiled and took a deep breathe. She could do this. Not caring about what people thought about you was easy...right?

* * *

_It seems we have a new a couple on the Upper East Side. Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass were spotted on an oh-so-romantic dinner date last night. The couple was seen holding hands, whispering in each others ears, and then later on in the night climbing into the back of Chuck's limo.__ Oh B, what happened to saving yourself for Nate?_ _We thought you two were perfect for each other._ _Guess everything isn't always as it seems. Well you don't have to worry, we'll be watching much more carefully from now on._

_You know you love me, _

_XOXO Gossip Girl_


	7. Secret

"You awake?" Blair said rolling over onto her side. The bed was so big that you didn't even have to touch the person beside if you didn't want to. He didn't stir so she moved closer and pocked him in his side "Chuck"

He groaned and opened his eyes "Dreaming about me?" He grinned and sat up "I was having a very, very nice one about you" Blair pulled her pillow out from under her head and smacked him with it.

"Eww, perv" She laughed at how they both seemed to have the same humor; dirty "Save your wet dreams for when I'm not here, please"

"I told you, it was a _nice_ dream" He winked and kissed her "It kinda reminded me of last night"

"Last night" She smiled and bit her lip "I suppose that's understandable. Last night was pretty..._nice_"

"It was more than nice. I didn't know you had it in you, _Blair Bear_" He was beginning to unbutton the shirt she had borrowed from him, revealing her lacy pink bra.

"Sorry, can't" She got up and unbuttoned the rest of the shirt "I have to have lunch with my mom and her fiancé..._Jack_" She faced away from him, taking a minute to check her stomach. She was constantly afraid it would change before she could notice.

* * *

Dorota had spent the entire morning cooking. As Blair entered the house, the smell of butter chicken hit her "Mom?" She said walking into the living room. They were sitting on the couch, holding hands, and laughing at something. It had been a long time since Blair had seen her mom this happy.

"Oh, Blair" Her mom got up from the couch and hugged Blair "Sorry I wasn't here this morning. We were packing up Jack's things in his apartment.

"Already?" Blair frowned, smoothing out yesterday's wrinkled dress "It's been like a week"

Her mom's face quickly turned from a happy one to an angry one "Your father phoned, congratulating us. He said we could have the wedding at his vineyard next month"

Blair assumed it was because he was happy she had moved on, letting him live his life with Roman "Daddy offered his vineyard for the wedding?"

"Yes, it was very generous" Eleanor smiled, noticing how messy Blair's hair seemed "So, we set a date; March seventeenth"

That was just a little over six weeks away, and Blair knew that by then she would have to face the music and tell people about the baby "Sounds great" She smiled, making her mother happy.

"You should invite Nate. I don't think he's ever been to France" Her mom looked so happy as she squeezed Jack's hand, letting him kiss her on the lips. This was what she used to have, that sense of security that came with knowing what your future held.

* * *

He looked so peaceful as he slept, hair standing on end and an imprint of his pillow on his cheek. She imagined what their baby would look like, with brown hair and brown eyes. Maybe it would be a girl, or a boy. And then she thought about the possibility of stopping all of this in its tracks, putting it behind her and moving on. But why? She already had everything she had ever wanted in her life. Money, friends, and a boy who was madly in love with her. What more did she need to raise a baby?

"Chuck" She rubbed his cheek, feeling the ridges of the pillow imprint "I think I'm ready to be a mommy" She knew he was asleep, and that's why this didn't scare her. He could sleep through anything, from loud parties people threw in the room next door, to the time when she had tripped over his clothes on the floor to get to the bathroom, landing with a loud smack on her face.

Melt downs were becoming an everyday occurrence in the life of Blair Waldorf, especially when it came to weight gain. It first came in the form of the morning she realized her favorite pair of jeans couldn't be done up anymore. After almost breaking the zipper, she burst into tears. She had run to into the bathroom, knelt down in front of the toilet, and stuck her finger down her throat.

* * *

"Can I ask you something?" Blair said watching Serena paint her toe nails a coral pink. She was flipping through a celebrity gossip magazine, getting mad at the fact that she looked less and less like them.

Serena stopped painting her toes and looked up. Her blonde hair was getting very long. It nearly touched the back of her jeans when she stood straight "Sure"

"Promise you won't get mad?" She checked her toes, admiring the skill Serena seemed to have.

"I swear. Now spill" She sat cross legged opposite Blair.

"Did you ever love Nate?" It was a question that had settled deep in Blair's brain a few months ago, but with her recent situation, it appeared again "Because, _he _really loves you"

Serena sucked in her breathe and closed the nail polish bottle's lid. She sighed and shook her head "No, I never loved him" She could see it in Blair's eyes, what they had done still bothered her "Blair, no, I promise" She put her hands on Blair's shoulders, watching the tears appear in her eyes "I know and I'm sorry I hurt you"

"I just, I tried _so hard_ to get him to love me the way he loves you. He was suppose to be the one I could turn to with all of this" She shook her head, letting the tears blur her vision. She watched Serena move and sit beside her on the bed, putting an arm around her. "Hard work is supposed to pay off, right?"

"Not if it's not meant to work out. I think you should try concentrating on yourself right now. No more boys" Serena's words were almost maternal, the way she tried to make Blair feel better.

"No more boys" Blair nodded her head "That's a hard one though" She laughed a little, leaning her head against Serena's shoulder.

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me" Nate said as Chuck sat down on the bar stool beside him. He had asked Chuck to meet him in The Palace Hotel's bar, hoping they could talk rationally about everything.

"I just want things to go back to the way they were before" Chuck was excited, but he didn't want to admit it. He took it as a good sign that Nate wanted to talk to him.

"I don't know if that's possible" Nate shook his head "But at least now I know how Blair felt when I cheated on her. It sucks"

"Blair didn't cheat on you though. You two weren't together" Chuck could see how tired Nate looked. It was as thought he hadn't slept more than a few hours since they fight in Central Park "Trust me, I wouldn't have done any of that if you two had still been together"

"But how did my breakup with her make any of it okay, Chuck?" Nate almost yelled, waving his hands in the air "How could you just take something like that from her?"

"I didn't take it from her. She _gave_ it to me" Chuck thought back to that night in the limo. He had asked permission, and she had opened herself up to him "You pushed her away, so she came to me"

"The only reason she came to you was because she wanted to hurt me. She knew you'd sleep with her if she asked"

"Nate, me and her would have ended up together eventually. Your relationship with her was doomed from the beginning, you know it"

"That's not true" He shook his head and got up from his chair. If only Nate could see how happy Blair was now, Chuck thought to himself, she didn't want him anymore "I _loved_ her".


	8. A Lack of Color

"Mommy" Blair said feeling her hands shake. Her mom was reading the New York Times in the kitchen, pulling apart a Pop Tart in front of her. Blair was sick of all of this. She had hoped for a few more days, possibly a week to try and figure out what she was going to do with this baby. She felt so dirty, coming to her mother with this. _Two boys? _She could already see the words printed on Gossip Girl "Mommy, I need your help" The feeling of wanting to vomit rarely left her throat anymore, which had led to even more strange looks from Chuck as she hurled in near by containers.

"What is it, Blair?" Her mom put down the Pop Tart down and looked over at her daughter, entering the room distraught "You look sick. Are you sick?".

"No, I'm not sick. I'm pregnant" She bit her lip, trying to swallow the feeling of throwing up all over the New York Times.

"What?" Her mom said eyes widening on her face. Blair felt like hiding, getting away from this horrible moment "You're pregnant?"

"I'm pregnant" She began to cry, tears streaming down her face in large quantities. This had been something she wanted to avoid, this moment straight from Hell.

"When did this happen, Blair?" She could see herself in her mothers face. The eyes, the lips, the nose, it was all there. She wondered if her child would have these same features, or possibly the features of somebody else.

"A few months ago" She continued to cry, as dark lines of mascara ran down her face "I'm so sorry, Mom"

"_Months?_ You've known for months?" Her mom gave her that same look. It was the look she had given Serena after she found out about her and Nate's hookup. _Slut _"Does Nate even know he's going to be a father?"

It was almost as if the tears had dried up that very second "No, not yet" She swallowed hard, afraid of what her mother would expect from her and Nate.

"How could you let this happen, Blair? I thought you were responsible enough not to get yourself into this kind of crap"

"It's not like I planned this. It just happened"

"It just _happened_? Sex doesn't just happen, Blair. Having a baby isn't something that just...happens" Eleanor shook her head, trying to take all of this in "How could you do this to yourself?"

"I'm sorry" She shrugged and sat down next to her mom. They were both quiet for a while before her mother spoke.

"Just get dressed and go to school, Blair" Eleanor sighed and got from her chair. Blair looked down at the other Pop Tart her mother had left, sitting there untouched. She picked it up and took a bite. Why did people always expect her to be the perfect one? She was nothing more than a girl with a lot of problems.

* * *

Blair smiled and dried her eyes as Chuck walked up to her. They had decided to meet each other in front of the school every morning, so that they could at least see each other before the day started.

"Hey, Bass" Blair said kissing him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around her, protecting her from the cold wind outside "I have tell you something" It felt so good to finally tell her secret. No more lies.

"What is it?" He touched her cheek, sending chills down her spine.

"This is going to ruin everything" She sighed and rolled her eyes. Maybe it was easier to keep things to herself "I'm pregnant"

"You're pregnant?" There was the slight glimmer of a grin that made its way on to his face. It got bigger until he was almost laughing "You're kidding, right?"

She shook her head and took his hand from behind her back "No, I'm not kidding" She smiled but he didn't. His face slowly turned pale as she held his hand. It was to be expected, this wasn't exactly the greatest news in the world "You still want to be with me, Chuck Bass?"

Chuck nodded his head and smiled; bringing color back to his face "Yeah, of course" She knew that there was something else going through his head right now. A question. The same question she had trouble answering.

She nodded, and ran her hand through his hair "The answer" She could see it in his eyes. Doubt and fear, all mixed together. She shrugged "I don't know".

He hugged her again, making sure not to squeeze too hard "It's okay, we'll figure it out...together"

"Promise?" She was afraid of what would happen if it turned out he wasn't the father. Would he really stick with her through custody battles and paternity tests?

"I promise" He kissed her again, lifting her up off the sidewalk. Blair couldn't believe it, could things really work out for them?

_

* * *

_

Blair got home that afternoon to find Eleanor and Nate's parents sipping tea in the living room. They laughed and continued to talk, not noticing the girl standing in front of them. Finally, Blair's mom looked over and saw her, standing there quietly "Hello, sweetheart" She smiled and pointed to the spot on the couch beside her "Nate should be here shortly"

"We were just discussing your future" Nate's mom said with a nervous smile. Blair's stomach turned. She sat down beside her mom, making sure not to sit too close.

"Our future?" She picked up the tea cup in front of her, taking a small sip.

"Well, now that you two are expecting a baby, you obviously need to start thinking about the future" His dad said, sitting back in the leather loveseat. He put his arm around his wife and smiled "And frankly, I know it sounds a little strange, but we couldn't be happier"

Blair knew that all he saw from this was green pieces of paper. Money, that's what he couldn't be happier about. Their families would now be officially connected, no more worrying about business deals. She didn't know how to respond to all of this. She could get up, tell them to go to hell and give them the finger. Or she could calmly explain to them how there was a good chance Nate wasn't even the father. But she decided to sit there quietly, sipping her tea and wincing every time they brought up engagements and wedding details. Where they really that crazy? She couldn't believe her eyes. Less than fourteen hours ago, she had announced that she had become pregnant at the young age of seventeen. And they acting as if this was a miracle "You two got yourselves into this and your going to follow through with everything" Her mom said squeezing her shoulder sympathetically.

When Nate walked in, they became even happier. His dad got up from the couch and walked over to him. He gave him a slap on the back, told him how becoming a father was the greatest thing in the world, and poured himself another glass of scotch. Nate's mom pulled out the family ring from her purse, handing it to Nate carefully "You two are getting married"

He seemed just as confused as Blair was. "Don't you think...?" He looked around at all the adults in the room "Blair, do you want to take a walk with me?" He said sticking out his hand, asking her to take it. She nodded and got up from her seat. They walked over to the elevator without a word, silently listening to the chatter of their parents in the background.

When they got onto the street, he finally spoke "I wanted to get away, from all of their shit" They walked for a while in silence and then he continued "Blair, is this baby even mine?"

She knew, he knew, Chuck knew "I don't know" She shrugged, feeling the tears gather in her eyes. She wished Chuck was here, to hold her again like he had that morning "There's no way of telling"

"What are we going to do?" They stopped and sat down on a bench. He was playing with the ring box, opening and closing it nervously "Are we really going to get married?"

She shrugged and sighed "A few months ago, I would be have been ecstatic to even have you consider marrying me" She shook her head and took the box from him. She opened it and looked at the ring. It was the most amazingly beautiful ring she had seen in her life "But now, everything is different"

"You know I love you, Blair" He smiled and touched the side of her face with the tips of his fingers

"I don't want people knowing that there is any chance this baby isn't yours" It was selfish of her, to put her reputation in front of her feelings for Chuck, she knew that.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?" He took her hand and kissed it, making her heart melt all over again "Get married?"

"I don't think we have a choice" She shrugged again and sniffed, trying to get rid of the tears that were streaming down her face. She took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger left ring finger. There was a part of her that was so happy to have this finally happen, but another part of her couldn't stop thinking about that other boy, the one who had promised to be there for her that morning. A family. That's all she had wanted as a little girl. But who would be the daddy?


	9. The Powder Room

Next chapter, a little shorter but still good. I know people thought what Blair did in the last one was unlike her but really...its exactly what Blair would have done. She plans things out and everything has to be perfect. So when their parents tell them, hey everything is fine and you two will get married, of course she would go back to Nate. It was always part of her plan. She kind of tries to shake herself out of the dream Chuck had her in those past few weeks, even though she was happy and loved it. Anyway, here we go!

* * *

He looked so happy. The possibility of becoming a father was making him ecstatic. She loved him for this, but hated what she was about to do. For all he knew, this was still their meeting place. She was meeting him, like always "I'm glad you came" She said hugging him. She let herself sink into him, letting him wrap himself around her like he always did.

"Why wouldn't I come?" Chuck said confused. He smiled as he continued to talk "It's our spot"

"Chuck" Blair shook her head and showed him her finger, the diamond ring making it look so tiny and fragile "Not anymore"

He stayed quiet, taking it all in. He grabbed her hand and stared at the ring. This wasn't the first time he had scene this huge rock up close.

_"Hurry" Nate said tip toeing his way across the large living room. He knew, from experience, that if you walked too fast or too hard, the wooden floors would make huge creaking noises that would wake everyone up. His hair was short, but not by choice. His mother had promised him an icecream cone if he was willing to let the barbor take a look at the nest that was growing on his head. He had cried like a baby as the old man had chopping away at his pride and joy, leaving only short, short hair. _

_"I'm going as fast as I can" Chuck said running after him, also taking his time across the wooden floor. Their destination was Nate's mother powder room, only a few steps away. When they got to it, Nate began to riffle through the imense number of jewelry boxes. _

_"Come on..." He whispered to himself. When he finally came upon the one he was wanted, he smiled widely. He had lost his front teeth last month, now leaving a huge whole in his mouth "Gotcha"_

_He gently lifted out the ring, large and sparkling in his hand. He had never seen it up close before. Only occasionally on the ring finger of his mother. This was the ring he wanted to give to Blair. He had known it all along, but only now as he held it in his hand did he realize this would be his promise to her. It had a lot for a little boy to believe, but he believed it with all his heart. _

"Your really gonna marry him, Blair?" Chuck gave her a pained look. One of both disgust and sadness "After everything he's put you through?"

"It's not something I planned, Chuck. Please understand that" She took his hand in hers, trying to hold on "Our parents were the ones who seemed happier about all of this than we were"

"So you didn't even tell them about me?" He pulled away from her, letting her stand on her own now.

"What was I suppose to say?'Oh hey Mom, you know Chuck Bass? Yeah it's possible he was the one who knocked me up in the back of his limo. Whoops!' Do you know what she would do to me?"

Chuck shook his head "You're still embarrassed about us aren't you?" He felt like leaving her there, all alone in front of their school. But something made him stay; maybe it was possibility that she was carrying his baby.

"No, Chuck, please. That's not the reason" She squeezed his hand, feeling the cold metal of her ring touch his skin "Remember when we were little? All I wanted was to have my prince charming save me" She shook her head, feeling tears sting her eyes "These past few weeks have been amazing" She smiled, thinking of the two of them laying in bed for days "You helped me mend my broken heart, Chuck"

He nodded, and finished the rest for her "But you never wanted things to become serious, right?"

"I can't change the DNA of this baby" She put her hands on her stomach, and shook her head "If you're the father, then you're the father. Nothing will change that ever, I promise"

-----

"Blair, Jack and I have been talking and we've decided on something" Eleanor said trying to comfort Blair. She was lying on her bed, curled up in a little ball, staring at the wall in front of her. Eleanor assumed she was thinking about the situation she had gotten herself into and everything that now came with that.

"What is it, Mom?" Blair said coldly, not moving her eyes. She felt cold, not sad in anyway. She thought about grabbing the blanket next to her, but that would mean getting up from her position.

"We're going to move out wedding back to maybe sometime in the fall. We want you and Nate to have your wedding in France at the vineyard" She rubbed her daughters back, noticing how far her backbone seemed to stick out "How does that sound, darling?"

"That sounds great" Blair closed her eyes, picturing the beautiful green trees all around the two of them. Her father would give her away, allowing her new life with him to start. But she couldn't help but see someone else in that place across from her, not the boy she had expected to see "It will be beautiful"

"Then maybe you two could spend a semester there, away from everyone" Her mothers voice was soothing and calm, something she rarely heard anymore "You could have your baby in France"

"You really want to get rid of me?" A tear left Blair's eye, running slowly down until it reached the hand underneath her head.

"Of course not" Eleanor sighed and brushed her daughter's hair out of her face. She bent down and kissed her on the cheek, noticing the tears "Oh Blair, you're still just my little girl" She got up from the bed and left her daughter there, who was slowly drifting into sleep "Why didn't you wait?" She picked up the blanket Blair had wanted, and draped it over her body.


	10. Run Away

I know its been a while since the last chapter but this one is pretty important so I have been rewriting and rewriting it over and over until I thought it was just right. After finished this chapter, I feel like I know where my story is gonna go (ie. final couples, baby's father...ect). Which is probably good considering I'm already 10 chapters in!

* * *

Blair sat across from Nate at the dinner table, picking at the heap of food her mother had put on her plate. The nausea was slowly subsiding, instead introducing her to food cravings. Nate glanced up from his plate, meeting her eyes for a minute. He hadn't talked much since he had found out about the baby, keeping to himself at all of their family gatherings. _Family_ gatherings. That's what their parents now called them. This all seemed so ridiculous to Blair. She had expected them to try and cover this up. Teen pregnancy wasn't something to proudly show off. Possibly whisk her away to France, claiming that New York was distracting her from her school work. 

"Hey" She mouthed to him, giving him a smile that told him she wanted to work things out. Nate was hesitant, but eventually smiled back. He was hurt and she understood. This was all her fault and there was nothing Blair could do about it.

----

Blair could hear his footsteps behind her. _Thump._ _Thump. Thump_. She wondered how they gotten to this point. Her, pregnant and engaged. And him, in love with her and secretly following her where ever she went. She felt like turning around and slaping him across the face "Nice ass" Chuck said with a little laugh and then she did turn around.

"Dumbass" Blair said glaring at the boy standing a few feet away "What do you want?"

Chuck looked around at the grid lock that was forming on the road beside them. He shrugged and looked down at the ground "Nothing really" He looked so much younger standing in front of her. It was like his confidence had never existed "I guess I just miss you"

Blair sighed and took a step towards him. She crossed her arms across her chest. Her stomach wasn't flat anymore but was now nicely rounding out "Chuck, we can't"

He stayed silent, staring at the ground. It broke Blair's heart, seeing him like this. He nodded after a while and looked up at her "Yeah, I know"

Without thinking twice, Blair walked up to him and hugged him. She wrapped her arms around him, like he had when they were together. She wanted to protect from like he had protected her. She wanted to absorb all the pain she had caused him. Quietly in his ear, she whispered "Sometimes I miss you too"

From the opposite side of the road, a boy looked on at them. This was a boy who wanted nothing more than to be the one who Blair was hugging at that moment. The one she had whispered softly too in front of the whole of New York City. He thought back to a time in his life where he too had wanted someone this badly, but not in the same way.

----

_Serena hopped off the bar stool and pulled up her panties, feeling tears sting her eyes. She wanted to start running and hide, but when she looked up at the boy on the chair, she realized this wasn't something that would follow her. What they had just done was finally sinking in. Alcohol can only impair you so much. Nate was sitting with his face in his hands, taking slow and deep breathes. He too understood the enormity of the mistake that had just happened._

_"I should go..." Serena whispered, digging in her purse for an elastic. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair, pulling it all up into a bun. She smelled like champagne and aftershave, a combination people would question her on._

_"What the hell did we just do, Serena?" Nate looked down at her, shaking his head. She could have used this opportunity to make a joke like 'Well Nate, when a girl and guy drink to much...'_

_"She'll never forgive us" He got off the chair and zipped up his pants. His hair was all over the place, making it look like he had just rolled out of bed._

_"Then we won't tell her" Maybe she could leave for a while, at least until she was sure things were okay with Blair and Nate. An explanation would require actually talking to her bestfriend, which at this point was out of the question. Serena picked up her purse and took a step closer to him. She gently placed a hand on either side of his face, feeling his ruff stubble "Promise me you'll make things work with Blair. She loves you so much" She kissed him on the cheek, making sure to get rid of the red smudges she had left behind "Bye, Nate"_

_"Bye" He said quietly, picking up his jacket from the floor. He watched as she walked away, crying quietly to herself. Someone had once told him that a drunk mans actions were a sober mans thoughts. As he stood there, feeling a strange new ache in his chest, Nate wondered how true this was._

----

"Hey sweetie" Blair said giving Nate a hug one afternoon after school. She could feel the little bump in between them now, and it made her nervous. Everything had become so much more real to her in the past few weeks. It was less than ten days before they would all be off to France for the wedding.

Nate stiffly hugged her back and gave her a peck on the cheek "Hi"

"Are we just not gonna talk? Are we gonna be like those couples who never say a word to each other? Cause if that is how things are gonna be, then I might as well go back to Chuck" Blair blurted out, pushing away from his arms "At least he talked to me"

His mouth opened as if he was about to say something. But nothing came out. He closed it again and sighed.

"Look, Nate" She shook her head and put one hand on her stomach "I'm _sorry _and I'm trying my best here. I _want_ this to work for us. What more do you want from me? Tell me and I'll do it"

Nate's mouth opened again, and this time something did come out "Really? Anything?" He said quietly, not believing that she was willing to do anything for him.

"_Anything._ Please, just tell me how I can make this work"

"All I want..." He crossed his arms across his chest and shook his head "I just wish you were over Chuck"

----

"Do you think it's possible to stop loving someone?" Blair said looking over at Serena. She took a bite out of the sandwich and gave her friend a little smile.

Serena raised an eyebrow before talking "Well, I think you can fall out of love with someone" She knew better than to ask why this question had come up. Blair was the type of girl who wanted to figure things out on her own, without having someone else trying to tell you what to do "But love, I believe love is forever"

"How is that even possible?"

"If your talking about Chuck, Blair..." Serena said rolling her eyes "Take a moment and picture this for me. Your eighty years old, your body is falling apart, you've pushed out five kids, but your happier than you've ever been" She smiled and squeezed Blair's shoulder "Who is still gonna make you happy in sixty years, Blair?"

"How do you know I was talking about Chuck?" Blair said with a glaire. She realized she had eaten most of her sandwich, so she put it back down on her plate "I could have been talking about my mom"

"You have all the time in the world, Blair" She titled her head and gave Blair a small smile "Just make you pick the right one"

----

Blair knocked on her bedroom door, noticing Nate on his back with his eyes closed, listening to music. She walked in and took up her up her place beside him. She closed her eyes too, then without thinking twice she began to talk "I saw Chuck today. He had followed from Bergdorf's. He told me he missed him. You should have seen him Nate, he looked so sad. I gave him a hug and told him I missed him too"

"What are you doing, Blair?" Nate said opening his eyes and looking at her "What are you doing?"

Blair shrugged and turned on her side, facing him "I thought I should be honest with you. We can't work if we don't talk, right?"

"Do you really miss him?" He moved a little closer to her. He realized this was a war he wasn't a part of anymore. All he could do was sit back and hope for the best.

She wondered what he would do if he knew the truth. Would he still love her? "Everyday" She nodded, thinking of how good it had felt to hug Chuck again. She sighed and continued "But I missed you too. At least until now"

* * *

Okay, well there ya go! I know it might be a bit confusing how Blair seems to like two guys right now. But its happened to me before and I'm sure to many of you out there. She will eventually make her final decision. I won't reveal it and I hope you still read my story! 

Comment, tell me what you think. What you want. It makes writing alot easier.


	11. Time

Hey everyone. Been having some big time writers block and so this chapter took me a while. I just want to explain it a little before it starts in hopes of preventing any confusion. This chapter is a flash forward (blame it on my LOST addiction) so just go with it. I think it really works. It will answer a few questions for you. Enjoy! 

* * *

"Thanks for meeting me." Blair said with a smile, sitting on her bed. She couldn't believe that she was finally here. _Yale._ After everything she had gone through in the past few years, her dream was finally coming true. Nate sat down on the chair opposite from her, looking around at Blair's new dorm room "I've missed talking to you." 

"We have allot going on in our lives." He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. He wouldn't lift his head up and so continued to look down at the floor. 

"Still doesn't mean we shouldn't talk." Blair said, hoping he would be kind enough to at least look up at her. She studied the way he looked in the silence of the room. He had a bit a scruff on his face and his hair was much shorter "Are you happy, Nate?" Just seeing him here, across from her, brought back so many memories she had thought were gone. After graduation, it was like she had hit a wall in her relationships with the people she loved the most. That was when she left. The consistency of her new life was something she finally realized wasn't for her. 

"Yeah" He finally looked up at her and smiled. Those blue eyes were still mesmerizing, even after all these years "I am really happy, Blair." 

She nodded and thought for a moment. Could he really just move on just like that? After everything they had been through together? Then she realized just how easy his decision had been. He had left just as he realized she was pulling away. _Runaway bride. _That's what Serena had called her. 

"You know, I am sorry" Nate said, pulling Blair out of her thoughts "I really thought you were happy with me" 

"I was for a while" She thought back to the first time the two of them had made love after the engagement. She had felt so safe in his arms "I think a part of me changed after I got pregnant. Happiness didn't seem to come so easily anymore." 

"But maybe it was all for the best." 

"Yeah, I'd like to think I've really learned alot from all of this." 

"Like what?" 

"First of all, condoms are your friend." She laughed, hoping it was okay to joke. She realized he wasn't laughing with her and became more serious "I learned it's okay to make mistakes sometimes, people don't expect you to be perfect."

* * *

Blair took Nate for a walk around the campus, showing him all the different buildings "Being here...it's like starting over." She said looking around her. 

"Why would you want to restart your life? I mean, your _Blair Waldorf._" He said it as if she was so much more than a nineteen year old girl, possibly a queen of some sort. 

"I think everyone deserves the chance to get away from their life, even for just a little while" She stuck the tips of her fingers in her jean pockets. She couldn't believe it. She, Blair Waldorf, was wearing jeans "I've made alot of mistakes but I guess I have alot to be thankful for too. In the end, it brought me here, didn't it?" 

"So you don't regret the past two years?" He said sitting down on one of the benches. 

"No. I mean, yeah, most of it was pretty crappy stuff." She sat down beside him and kicked a little pebble with her foot. It rolled over onto the path, hitting someone like a little bullet. They glared. She apologized "But I'm thankful for what I got out of it." 

"Like a baby boy?" Nate said with a smile, hoping she would ignolage what they used to have. She seemed so different than the girl he had fallen in love with. 

She nodded and smiled back "Like a baby boy." She bit her lip, closing her eyes for a second. A baby, wrapped in a silk, blue blanket. He was _hers_ and she didn't have to return him after the mother came home "We had been pretty great for a while, hadn't we?" 

"Yeah." He nodded and remembered how sick he had felt when she returned the ring "For a while, I really thought we were going to make it." 

She shrugged and ran her fingers through her dark brown hair "We had too many problems that we never tried to resolve" 

"Does that mean we can't _ever_ try again?" He had gone too far, but it was too late. How would he know her response if he didn't ask? "Can't we try again?" 

She titled her head and touched his shoulder "No, Nate" She was sure; this wasn't something she wanted to go back to. The question Serena had asked. Who could she picture herself growing old with? Maybe Nate. But only as a far away dream. Reality was never the same. 

"Do you think he still hates me?" Nate said brushing off her rejection. He wouldn't break down in front of her "Chuck, I mean." 

She considered this for a moment. The two of them had been best friends once. Then came the cheating and lying. It had been like blowing up a building they had worked on for years. The pieces were still there, scattered among the dust. It would take time. Picking up every little chunk and placing them back on top of the foundation "I don't think he hates you. He just doesn't know you anymore." 

"You think he'd want to get to know me again?" Nate was desperate. If he couldn't have his relationship with Blair back, maybe Chuck would take him in. 

"You'd have to ask him yourself." A scene with the snicker of the two boys ran through her mind, laughing like nothing had changed. 

The setting sun was slowly stretching out the shadows around them, distorting their surroundings "Alot has happened." Nate said, noticing the Goosebumps that were developing on Blair's arms. He pulled his sweater up and over his head and passed it to her. 

Blair smiled and gave him a nod as she put it on. It smelt like his green sweater, sweet and musky, like the soap she had given him for Christmas that one year. That was over three years ago. "None of it was your fault though." 

"But it was." He put his arm around her, feeling her sink into his side. This was wrong, he knew it. She was married now. Chuck would never forgive him if he found out where his wife and ex-friend were right now. But he loved her more than anything. "I took you away from him." 

* * *

So, I'm sure you want to know which way I plan on having this go. This story will be a Blair/Chuck story, don't worry. Please review!


	12. Black Velvet

"Sweetheart" Blair's grandmother said giving her a tight hug "How have you been?"

"Good grandma," Blair hugged her grandmother back, feeling her small body being taken over by the old ladies much larger, softer one.

"I hear we're having a wedding?" She glanced down at Blair's stomach and gave her a nervous smile. _What the hell have you gotten yourself into? _Blair nodded and looked away "Want to go for a little walk my dear?"

"Yeah, maybe that's a good idea" Blair could talk this out. It wouldn't be that hard. Her grandma had been one of the few people in the world that she could open up to without feeling scared. She understood Blair because she had been Blair had one point in her life.

* * *

They walked through central park, looking at all the trees as they began to sprout small, green buds all over. The grass was also turning green again, revealing the bright color in between brown patches. "You want to hear it all?" Blair said with a sigh as she glanced at the old lady.

"That would probably be best"

"Okay" Blair thought about where to begin. What was the beginning of her story? Was it the first time she had met Nate? Or had been her first kiss? Maybe that would work "Remember Chuck, grandma?"

"Chuck..." She said, roaming her brain for something. Her eyes lit up as she finally remembered "Oh right, your first kiss!"

"Yeah" She nodded and smiled. That was right. Chuck _had_been her first kiss. Before all the other boys. He seemed to have taken both her most memorable firsts. It made her mad. How could he be so greedy? "This might be his baby" She swallowed hard as the words came out. The possibility of carrying a part Chuck made her nauseous.

"But Chuck isn't the boy your about to marry?" Her grandma took a step back and frowned. It was almost has if she thought she was turning crazy. Had she just imagined another boy? Where did the word "Nate" fit into all of this?

"I know, Nate is the one I'm going to marry" She could read her grandma's mind. That expression told it all.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Finally she understood. Okay, two boys. Her granddaughter had slept with _two boys_. The 'incidents' with the two boys must have been pretty close together if she wasn't sure about who's it was. This wasn't something the Blair she knew would do.

She had made her choice already. She wanted her baby to grow up with a father who wasn't crazy. Chuck was crazy. He made _her_ feel crazy. But was that a bad thing? "I think so"

Her grandma gave her a pat on the back as she shook her head "Blair, 'I think' isn't a good enough answer"

Blair nodded and felt tears sting her eyes. Nate had used those same words their first night together. _I think I love you. _"It's because I don't know what the answer is" She sighed and imagined her and Nate in fifty years. She wondered if he would still question their relationship. She couldn't live with a person who wasn't sure this was what he really wanted. It reminded her too much of herself.

* * *

"Decaf please" She smiled at the young girl behind the counter and handed her a five dollar bill. She pulled her empire waisted dress down, feeling it ride up over her small belly. Four days. That's all she had left before her wedding in France. It made her nervous to think that soon she wouldn't be seen by the general male population as someone available. Being married was different than having a boyfriend. To the world, marriage was for life. You were gone; too bad for everyone who secretly loved you. She pulled out her phone and texted Chuck to come meet her for a coffee. She was tired of trying to get away from him. She wanted to be able to be in the same room as him without feeling like she was about to drop dead.

"So, what's this all about?" He said as he sat down opposite her. He leaned forward as if she was about to spill some big secret.

"I wanted to return something to you" She bent down and pulled out a black, velvet box from her purse "It's the necklace you gave me for my birthday. I didn't feel right keeping it. It's like you were paying me for sleeping with you"

"It wouldn't be the first time I payed you for something" He said taking the box from her. He opened it and admired the necklace. He didn't want her to give it back to him. It had been a gift, not a form of payment.

_"Two dollars" The little girl said extending her hand out infront of her "Pay up"_

_"Fine" A boy about two inches taller than her said with a grumble. He passed her two notes and gave her a little smile "Now can we get to it already?"_

_She nodded, smoothing out her uniform. She had just started kindergarten and was ecstatic when the teacher had given her her first golden star. She hadn't taken a bath in days, showing off the twinkling piece of sticky paper on her hand "Here I go" She closed her eyes and leaned forward. Her lips were scrunched into a perfect circle as she planted a kiss on his lips. The boy leaned forward, pouting his lips into the same circle to match hers. When she pulled away about a minute later, she smiled "Chuck, was that your first kiss?" _

_His eyes dropped to the ground and he moved his feet closer together. They were hiding behind the curtains of their school theatre "No" He said quietly, turning beet red._

_"Aww" She giggled and patted him on the head, as if he was some kind of street dog "No need to be embarrassed" _

_"What? Like you've kissed lots of boys?" He became angry and moved away from her. He felt like stealing his money back and running out from behind the curtain, yelling at the tops of his lungs that Blair was doing bad things to him._

_Blair moved closer to him again, and her face became more serious "Wanna know a secret?" He nodded as she stuck her hand out, curling in all her fingers except for her pinkie "Pinkie promise you won't tell a soul?"_

_He stuck out his hand and linked his little finger with hers "Pinky promise"_

"Excited about the wedding?" Chuck said placing the box in his jacket pocket. He took a sip of his coffee, looking over the cup as Blair shot him a look.

"Of course I am" She crossed her arms over her chest defensively and sat back in her chair "Why wouldn't I be?"

"It all seems so rushed to me, thats all" He said with a shrug. He noticed the people sitting across the room. The girl had her phone out and was taking pictures of the two of them.

"Well, that's the way thing's happened, I guess" She shrugged and shifted in her seat, feeling uncomfortable being watched.

"I dare you to come away with me, Blair. Right now." Chuck stood up and stretched his hand out for her to take.

She looked up from from her second coffee and scoffed "What?" She raised her eyebrows and checked her phone. One new message from Nate.

"Forget the wedding," He seemed excited at this possibility. It made Blair nervous "We'll somewhere that no one would think to look"

"Where would that be?" She couldn't believe she was asking questions about his plan. This was ridiculous. People would think she had finally lost it if she left.

"Anywhere," He winked as she took his hand. She smiled and hugged him. It had been something her grandma had stirred inside of her. You couldn't build a relationship on doubts. She had no doubts with Chuck.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed that chapter! The next chapter will be all about how they run away. Any ideas on where you want them to go? Tell me when you review!


	13. Welcome Home

Blair grabbed a t-shirt from the pile on the floor and pulled it over her head. It felt loosely over her body, except for her stomach, and skimmed the bottom of her underwear. Barefoot, she made her way from the bedroom to the large kitchen, where she found Chuck attempting to make breakfast. She laughed and sat down at the kitchen table "Should I be worried?" Blair said picking up the plate of pancakes in front of her. She paused as she noticed the huge amount of syrup someone had poured over them. Of course, Blair thought of her weight. She sighed and pushed the plate off to the side. It was hard to go against an empty stomach, especially when you weren't the only one waiting for food anymore.

"Only if you plan on eating it." Chuck said with a smile as he flipped another pancake. He didn't have a clue about what she was dealing with. Poor guy.

"I'm not that hungry, actually. I was thinking about phoning my mom today. She must be going crazy." Blair bit her lip and put a hand on her stomach. They had been hiding out at Chuck's house in Tuscany for over a week now. She had checked CNN everyday, expecting to see something about a rich, pregnant teen being kidnapped on her way to school on morning. Not a thing. Maybe they hadn't even noticed she was gone? _Of course_ they realized she was gone. Her wedding was supposed to happen five days ago. And Nate wouldn't break the promise...so why weren't they panicking?

"Maybe that's a good idea." He walked over to her with another plate of pancakes. He was wearing a grey sweater with a pair of boldly printed shorts; not exactly the greatest outfit. It was to be expected though. They hadn't done any laundry yet "Nate's probably pretty worried too."

She said adjusting herself in her seat nervously. There was something she hadn't told Chuck. She opened her mouth and closed her eyes "Nate's not worried." It had been out of pure guilt that she had done it. How could she leave him like that? She had promised him that they would be together forever. Running off pregnant with your fiancés ex-best friend wasn't exactly something she felt good about. "I left him a note, Chuck."

"You left him a note?" There was pain in his voice. He kept him head down and began eating the pancakes in front of him.

"Yeah, I did." She nodded and prayed he didn't ask what it said. Please, Chuck, just let this one go.

Nate glanced at his phone, wondering why Blair hadn't texted back. He dropped the phone on her desk and moved over to the bed. There, positioned with care, layed her ring and a piece of paper. He closed his eyes and sat on the bed. _Damn it._

_I'm leaving for a while._

_I need to clear my head._

_Please don't tell anyone._

_Love,_

_Blair_

_PS- It's a boy. I was going to tell you today. _

* * *

"Are you mad?" Blair said sitting down next to Chuck on the soft sand. Their condo overlooked the beach, Tuscany's Ligurian Sea out in front of them. She sighed and brought her knees up to her chest "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It was stupid."

"You don't have to apologize" Chuck said, dusting off the sand from his legs "I guess I should have figured you would leave him a note. He was your fiancé after all."

"Yeah, I guess." She still hoped for the same thing._ Please Chuck, don't ask._

"So what did the letter say, anyway?" Chuck kept his eyes on the water. There was a slight wind blowing over the ocean, shooting the smell of salt straight at them.

"Chuck..." She sighed and shook her head. She looked at the finger where her ring used to be. Of course she didn't miss that. It had been horrible. She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe. "Let's just forget this ever happened, okay? We've been having fun, haven't we? Why spoil that?"

"Blair, do you really want to be here with me? Or back in New York with him?" He shook his head and stared right into her eyes. It sent a chill down her spine. Of course she wanted to be here with him.

"Chuck," She smiled slightly "I got onto the plane with you, didn't I?"

"Yeah," He nodded, grabbing her hand "You did. Thanks for that, by the way."

"You're very welcome. So don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed his hand and sighed. She wondered what it would take for him to trust her. There were still some feelings for Nate but they were steadily decreasing as she spent more time with Chuck. A part of her didn't want to go New York, in fear of those feelings coming back. "I'm staying right here with you."

**ONE WEEK AGO**

"Oh, hi." Serena frowned and bit her lip. Nate walked in past her and sat down on her bed. He ran a hand through is hair and sighed.

"She's gone."

"Do you mean Blair?" Questions raced through her mind. She sat down beside him and noticed the paper in his hand "Where did she go?"

"I don't know. All she left was this," He passed her the note. Serena read it, feeling her heartbeat speed up.

"Oh my god," She said under her breathe, folding the note in half and passing it back. A small smile appeared across her face. Blair never needed time to 'clear her head'. She always knew what she wanted. Sometimes she just put others wants before her own. "She finally did it."

"What did she do? Do you know something, Serena?"

"No" She shook her head and sighed "But I bet if you went looking for Chuck, you'd realize he's probably gone too."

"You think they left together? Why would Blair do that? We're getting married in four days."

"Nate, come on, you knew that wedding would never happen. How could you marry her when you knew she still loved Chuck?"

"I don't know, I guess I was just hoping for the best." He felt so stupid now. Had she ever really loved him? Not just have feelings for but really, really loved?

"Yeah, something there's nothing you can do about these things."She just realized how weird this was. The two of them were sitting on her bed, alone, talking for the first time in months. "You can love more than one person in a lifetime. Just because you love someone right now doesn't mean you'll love them tomorrow, or in ten years. People change. They grow up, learn lessons, and realize what's really important to them."

Nate paused and a smile spread across his face "When did you become so wise?" He said teasingly, shaking his head.

"I'm not _that_ wise." She said laughing a little "It just comes with experience, I guess."

_Experience_. She wouldn't openly say it but he knew she was talking about the two of them. She had learned her lesson. Stay with the good boys like Dan. The ones who don't drink, cheat on their girlfriends, or possibly get girls pregnant.

* * *

"Thanks for everything." Nate said with a small smile, getting up to leave. They had talked for over an hour and Nate finally agreed to let Blair be, where she was.

"You're welcome." Serena opened the door of her apartment for him. As he turned to go, he paused and titled his head, as if something had just occurred to him.

"When you left me that night last year...you were crying." He swallowed hard as he saw her face turn pale. This was obviously something she had tried to avoid "Why were you crying, Serena?"


	14. Escape

Sorry that the last chapter took so long! I'll try to get them out a little more sooner. Enjoy and review!

* * *

"I don't know what you're talking about." Serena said trying to close the door on him. She seemed nervous.

"I might have been drunk, Serena, but I remember. You kissed me on the cheek and told me to make things right with Blair. You were crying. Now I know you were afraid of what Blair would do if she found out. But two seconds earlier, you were giggling and kissing me...What changed?"

"Nate," She closed her eyes and pointed to the couch "Have a seat."

He followed her back into the apartment and sat down on the leather couch. He wasn't sure what was coming. Had no idea. She pushed her long blonde hair behind her ears and shook her head "Why didn't you ask me this like...months ago?"

He paused then shrugged. He wasn't really sure. It had just come to him. Just being next to her must have triggered his memory.

Serena was hesitant but finally continued "The truth is, I was only thinking about Blair; she's my best friend. That's it." She slightly pursed her lips and shrugged. She wasn't going to budge.

* * *

Blair picked up the pair of heels, running a finger over the soft leather. She sighed and placed them down again. Her feet were so swollen that all she could wear was flip-flops. "Blair, why don't we go to the store next door? You know, the one with all the baby clothes." Chuck eyed her as she looked down at the ground.

"No, I'd much rather stay here." She pointed at the racks and racks of designer Italian clothes. "It's like my dream come true. Maybe later." She tilted her head and smiled slightly. She was telling him to drop it. Thinking of planning for this baby freaked her out. It meant that all of this would soon to real. And then she would have to think about who this baby belonged to.

"Come on, we'll just have a look. We don't have to buy anything if you don't want to." He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door "Don't be such a baby, Blair."

"Hey! You can't just force me to buy baby clothes, Chuck." She squeezed her hand out of his grasp and backed away "Besides, I have plenty of time before I pop."

Chuck paused as he searched her face for something "Why are you so afraid, Blair?"

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest "I'm not afraid." She said defensively, as if the idea of her being afraid was ridiculous. "I'm the farthest thing from being afraid, actually. I _can't_ wait for all the shit I'll go through after I push this thing out. Then my parents can finally know what kind of daughter they raised."

"Blair, you've never been a bad daughter. This won't change the way they look at you."

"Really, Chuck, this won't change anything? You can't tell me you'll be absolutely chipper if this baby ends up being Nate's." She started back towards the shoes, keeping her eyes on Chuck "I've finally faced the fact that my parents are probably not looking for me because they just don't care anymore. I'm an embarrassment to them. I don't even know why you stick around for all this."

"Blair," Chuck sighed and took a step closer to her again "I'm sticking around because _I love you_. And I'll love this baby, whether they have my DNA or Nate's."

"I love you too." She smiled and hugged him. The people around them were now starring at the two of them, confessing their feelings to each other in the middle of the store. "We could, I mean, we could stay here until the baby is born. And we don't have to have a paternity test. We'll just put your name on the birth certificate. And it's not like my parents are out looking for me, what's a few more months here?"

"That's my girl." He said with a smirk. "Now that's the best plan I've heard from you in a while." He was referring to her plan to get married to Nate, Blair realized. But she couldn't understand why he was so happy to just get rid of Nate; an important person in both of their lives.

"Yeah," She said sadly and smiled, glancing at her stomach. It _was _a good plan. But what if this baby boy grew up and found she had been keeping a huge secret from him.

* * *

"Oh my god," Blair said peeking through the peep-hole in the front door. She slowly opened the door, seeing the person on the other side shaking their head slowly "Mom, what are you doing here?" Blair's jaw dropped as her mother stepped past her into the house.

"I see you've lost all the manners I spent years teaching you." Her mother walked through the house, heading for the bedroom. She knew exactly where it was. "I told your father we would move the wedding to the beginning of the summer. That will give us a few weeks to go for a dress fitting after the baby is born."

"What are you talking about?" Her mother had now moved into her bedroom, going through the piles of clothes on the floor.

"The car will be back here in an hour. I recommend you get your things together and say goodbye to Chuck."

"Mom, how did you find me?" Blair wasn't even listening to all the things her mother was saying. She was too busy trying to grasp the fact that her mother was here. Right here. In her bedroom.

Her mother raised an eyebrow and pulled her suitcase out of the closet "Blair, have you been listening to a word I've been saying? We're going home."


	15. Dreams

Thanks for all the reviews! Hearing how much you guys like the story really makes it all worth while!

* * *

"Mom, I'm not going anywhere with you." Blair said crossing her arms and picking up the clothes in the suitcase that he mother had folded so neatly. She threw them back onto the ground, the way they used to be and the way she liked them.

"Of course you are. You've had your fun and now it's time to get back to your life."

"You can't decide these things for me, mother. Not anymore."

Her mother tapped her foot on the floor and sighed "Fine, Blair." She walked over to where Blair was standing and sat down on the bed. " Do you want to know something about my life? You might find this crazy but your mom was never this uptight."

Blair scoffed before sitting down beside her mother.

"When I was just a little older than you are right now, I also met someone. He was alot older, handsome, kind, and _all mine_. My parents didn't approve of our relationship, of course. They kept telling me that this boy only had one thing on his mind." She looked down at Blair's stomach and smirked a little "Now, I wish I had listened to them."

"No, mom. Do you mean...?"

"No, no, no!" Her mother shook her head "No, I didn't get pregnant...but I could have. Something worse happened. Blair, I fell in love with him."

The baby kicked and it made Blair smile a little "How is that _worse_ than getting pregnant?"

Her mother sighed "Because it pushed me off track. Did you know I wanted to become a doctor when I was your age? _He_ promised me that he would take care of me. I didn't need to worry about becoming _anything_. So I didn't. I gave up all my dreams for him. Now that doesn't sound too romantic, does it?" Her mother nudged her a little and smiled.

"I'm not going to give up my dreams to be with Chuck."

"I'm not saying you will. But don't hide out here because you think it's romantic or because you don't want to deal with certain people." She gave her daughter a wink "If your relationship can survive out there, in the real world, it will survive anything."

* * *

"What happened?" Chuck said out of breathe as he ran through the front door. His eyes traveled from Eleanor standing by a bunch of suitcases and Blair, standing by the wall with tears in her eyes.

"Chuck," She moved toward him and gave him a hug "I'm going home."

"What? Why?" He looked over at her mother who just looked down at the ground "What did she say to you?"

"This isn't about her. This is about me and you." She glanced over at her mother; the signal that she wanted to be alone with him.

"What's going on Blair?" He frowned, wondering what was coming next.

"Nothing. It's just...I need to be honest with you." She squeezed his hand "I wanted to stay here with you because I was afraid. I was afraid that people would judge me for choosing you over Nate. Staying here with you had made me forget how I felt about Nate. I was afraid that our relationship wouldn't make it if we left."

"Do you still love him, Blair?"

She paused and looked down at her feet before realizing that she couldn't see them anymore "I think I'm in love with the idea of him. He was suppose to be my prince charming. He had promised me that we would be together forever. But I don't know if he _believed_ that we would be together forever. I realize now that it was all just a dream." She laughed a little "More like a nightmare."

"So what, are you telling me you don't think we'd work out if we left this place?"

"I don't know what's going to happen but I'm willing to take that chance if it means we could actually make it."

"I think we can." He grinned and pulled her closer "I believe we'll make it."

She smiled and kissed him. Her eyes grew larger as she realized something "Oh my god, I forgot to tell you, it's a boy!" She laughed a little and put an arm around his back. "How do you like that? I might be having a little Bass."

"That sounds great and all but I was kind of hoping for a little girl." He bit his lip as a big smile spread across his face.

"A little girl? You, Chuck Bass, was hoping for a little girl?" She put her hand up to her mouth and gasped "Maybe next time...as in ten years from now."

"I'll wait. Like I told you, I believe we're gonna make it."

* * *

The road was bumpy as they made their way to the airport. Blair looked out over the ocean to her left and sighed. She wanted to come back here after the baby was born. She felt connected to this place now. It was more than just a place she had stay at for a week "How did you know where to find us?" She asked her mother, resting her head on Chuck's shoulder. He was sleeping and didn't even stir.

"Chuck is more like his father than he realizes." She winked and smiled. "He's not the only one whose ever fallen for a Waldorf." So that's why her mother had walked through the house as if it was hers, she thought to herself. She had been there once too. She could picture her mother sleeping beside Bart Bass, one leg drapped over him. Blair opened her mouth to say something but her mother stopped her "It's in the past Blair, I moved on."

If her mother was being honest about her past maybe she should do the same. She hoped her mother would take it as well as the time she had admitted she was pregnant. Blair swallowed and opened her mouth again "Mom, I might be having Chuck's baby."


	16. Lost

Chapter 16. Wow, I can't believe I've been writing this story since December! I kinda like it so far. So I've decided I'll keep writing as long as people keep reading and reviewing. We'll see where we can take this story :)

* * *

"What?" Her mother's smile dropped suddenly and her face became red "What did you say?"

Blair looked down at the empty space on her finger where her engagement ring once was "I said, this baby might not be Nate's. It might be Chuck's."

Her mother closed her eyes "Get out, both of you. Driver, stop!" She pulled open the door and glanced back once at her daughter "I told you, Blair, get out of the car."

Blair's eyes dropped as she shook the sleeping boy beside her "Chuck, come on." Chuck slowly opened his eyes and looked at both woman in front of him. He had been listening to the two of them. He grabbed her hand and got out with her.

"Your a bitch, you know that?" He said to Eleanor, who was now sitting with her dark sunglasses, staring straight ahead "You can't even be thankful that you have a daughter with such an amazing heart. You push her away because she makes one small mistake." The driver got out and moved to the trunk of the car. He lifted ou their luggage and placed it down beside them. He gave the two of them a sympathetic half smile and got back in the car.

Eleanor lifted her sunglasses and glared at Chuck "This was not _one_ small mistake, Charles. Blair has ruined her _life_. And yours. Don't you get that? I tried to be okay with the fact that she was having Nathaniel's child at seventeen. But I _will not_ be okay with having a daughter that got pregnant while sleeping around. I will not have my family seen as _white trash_." She put her sunglasses back down over her eyes and shut the door. The limo started off again, down the dusty road.

Chuck put one hand on Blair's back and rubbed small circles on that spot "Don't touch me, Chuck." She said through her teeth. She was trying not to cry. Her mother was obivously crazy. That wasn't her fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. She pulled away from him and grabbed her bag "Just...let's just go back."

* * *

Blair pulled the covers over her head as the sunlight hit her face. "Blair, you have to get out of this bed." Chuck said from the door of their bedroom.

"Go to hell, Chuck." She murmured from under the warm covers. She hadn't gotten out of bed in over three days. It was just too hard. Maybe she could raise her son from the comforts of this room. It wouldn't be _that_hard. "Just leave me here to rot. I'll be fine."

"You have to get out of bed. Atleast to come say hello to our visitor."

"Who's the visitor?" She said curiously, peeking one eye over the covers. She could see the long, blonde hair of someone standing beside Chuck, with a big smile spread across her face.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Serena said running over to the bed. She jumped in beside Blair, climbing in under the covers "If your not leaving this room, neither am I."

"Serena, what are you doing here?"

"Chuck called me yesterday and told me how gloomy you were. So I came to cheer you up!" Serena pushed back her blonde hair and sat up in the bed "Oh and I brought you something!" She nodded at Chuck who left the room "I had a stopover in France and I decided to go visit you dad. I told him about our little delema and he thought it would be a great idea to bring you..."

Chuck returned with a little carrying case, the perfect size for a little cat "No, you didn't?!"Blair gasped and stuck out her hands like a little girl who wanted to be picked up "Give her to me!" Chuck smiled, pulled out the kitten from the case, and gently placed her in Blair's arms. "Hey, Cat." She kissed the top of the little kitten's head and smiled. Here she was, in bed, holding her baby.

* * *

"So, are you ready to talk?" Serena said taking a sip of her diet coke. She lifted up her shirt over her head, exposing a pink and black stripped bikini. They were sitting out on the sand, taking in the warm summer sun.

"Do I have to?" Blair groaned and ran a hand over to her stomach.

"No, you don't have to. But I would if I were you. You know, just get it out in the open. You'll feel much better, I promise."

"I don't know what to say. I guess, I'm angry that my mother decided to disown me. Maybe if she had actually been a mother to me, instead of just pushing me towards Nate...maybe I wouldn't be in this situation."

Serena laughed "Blair, you can't blame your pregnancy on your mother. She wasn't there. And besides, you should stop being angry about all of this. It's almost time. Start being happy about being a mommy."

Blair sighed "I _am _happy. It's just, I'm afraid I'll screw this up. I'd much rather just have him stay inside me, where I can protect him without even...trying. I don't know how to be a mother. I'm only seventeen. I don't want my baby to hate me like I hate my mother."

"He's not going to hate you, Blair. All you have to do is promise yourself that you'll learn lesson's through watching what your mother does. For example, don't freak when your son tells you that he got a girl pregnant at seventeen. Or, don't freak out if he runs away with his pregnant girlfriend."

"Not funny." Blair laughed a little and shook her head "No, I know what I did was wrong. I don't blame her for gettng mad. I just wish she hadn't kicked me out of the car."

Serena shrugged "Give her some time to let everything sink in. You never know, maybe she'll learn a few lesson's from all of this too."

Blair smiled "You know, this baby doesn't own one item of clothing? I think we need to go shopping!"

* * *

"Chuck, watch this." Blair pulled her t-shirt up and placed her mug of hot chocolate gently on her skin. She watched as the baby inside her tried to move away from the heat, wiggling and squirming to one side of her stomach "Isn't that amazing?"

"You, torturing the poor kid? No, not really." Chuck laughed a little and sat down beside her on the couch. They were watching old episodes of Friends on DVD that Blair had brought along. "You ready to go home yet?"

Blair shrugged "I guess...I don't really care anymore. But if you want to go back, we can." She smiled and laced her fingers with his.

"I was just thinking...if you could choose any place as the birthplace for _your _baby, where would it be?"

She smiled and put her head on his shoulder "It doesn't really matter. As long as it's your name on the birth certificate, none of it matters."


	17. Hopelessly

Hey everyone! I won't be here next week so enjoy this chapter...cause it might be a while!

* * *

Blair wiped the sweat off her top lip and smiled "Have you ever felt like your skin was melting off your body?" She turned onto her side and propped her hand up under her head "That's what I feel like right now. My skin is literally melting off."

"Hmm, your hot because I'm next to you, right?" Chuck winked and laughed.

Blair rolled her eyes and sat up "That's exactly right, Chuck. I have the hots for you." She sighed and placed a hand on her stomach "You ready to have this baby?"

"Are you ready to have this baby?" Blair smiled and kissed him.

"Yeah, I think I am. I just can't believe all of this is happening, you know? It's like...wow, we created another person."

"Yeah, we did." She nodded "At least I hope _we_ did. Oh god, Chuck, you have no idea how bad I feel about all of this. I can't seem to just enjoy all of this. What if he ends up being Nate's...what do we do then?"

"Blair, like I told you, we don't have to have this paternity test. We'll move out of New York...I'll make sure he doesn't come near us." Blair could see it in his eyes. He was serious. Chuck would do _anything _to protect his family. He would get rid of _anyone_ in his way.

* * *

"So I'll go back first." Chuck said looking at his computer screen. He was booking their ticket's back to New York "Try to get your mother to be a bit more reasonable. You and S can just hang out here for another week. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan." Blair opened the fridge and grabbed an apple. _This is for the baby._ "Besides, I don't want to leave anyway."

"Yeah well, we can only hide out for so long." He typed in his credit card number and pressed CONFIRM. Done. They were going back.

"It was fun, wasn't it?" She said sitting on his lap, putting one arm around his shoulder "We should definitely do this again."

"Yeah, definiltely." He smiled and kissed her arm "It was amazing."

* * *

"What do you think is the first thing Nate's gonna say when we get back?" Blair said folding the baby clothes into neat piles.

"He'll probably be sad. I mean, you did leave him." Serena shrugged and ran a hand over one of the babies shirts, black and white stripes.

Blair glared at her best friend and rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

"Sorry."

Blair sighed "No, it's fine. Your right. I did leave him. And I feel bad about that, if it makes you feel any better."

"I talked to him about it though. He promised he would finally let you go."

"Oh my god." Blair said, turning pale "My water just broke." A watery liquid flowed down her legs. Tears were gathering in her eyes as she realized Chuck wasn't here. He was in New York and she was Tuscany "This can't be happening."

"Are you serious? Blair! This baby picked the worst time ever to come!" Serena's eyes moved down to the puddle

"Maybe I can hold on until we get back to New York. You think they'll let me onto the plane like this?" She wiggled out of her sundress and pulled on a pair of shorts and a silk top "I could always say I just have a _really_ bad stomach ache." She closed her eyes and bit down on her lip as a contraction moved over her body.

"Blair, no, we have to go to the hospital." Serena grabbed a bag from the closet and began stuffing Blair's clothes into it.

"But he's not here. He's suppose to be here with me. That was part of the plan." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. Life wasn't fair. It was _never_ fair.

"It's okay...we'll figure something out. How about you phone and tell him what's going on?" Serena said throwing Blair her cell phone. She was still frantically through Blair's clothes. She reached over and grabbed a few shorts and shirts from the piles of baby clothes "Maybe he'll now what to do."

* * *

"Eleanor." Chuck said with a grin, taking a step into Blair's penthouse "It's so nice to see you again."

"Where is she? Did she come to finally say sorry?" Eleanor looked past Chuck into the empty elevator, expecting to see her daughter.

"Say sorry for what? What did she ever do to _you_?" It made him furious, to think that Eleanor thought Blair had anything to apologize for.

"Talk to me in a few years, Chuck. After you've done _everything_ for your child and they decide betray you...lie to your face."

"I would never treat my child the way you treat, Blair. No wonder she went looking for love elsewhere. She gets _zero_ from you." Chuck's phone buzzed in his pocket and he turned his back on Eleanor to answer it . The word Blair flashed on the display screen. "Hey, how is everything over there?"

_"I think my water broke, Chuck. Me and Serena are heading to the hospital in a couple of minutes. I just...I just wanted to let you know...I'm sorry."_

Chuck could hear her crying on the other end "Sorry for what?" He headed back into the elevator, not caring that Eleanor was standing behind him, tapping her high heeled foot on the marble floor impatiently. He needed to get to the airport as soon as possible. He wasn't going to miss this for the world.

_"I wanted you to be here with me. We were suppose to do this together."_

"We will be together, Blair, don't worry. I'm on my way." He said as the elevator door closed. He could see Blair's mother's face out of the corner of his eye; lighting up at the sound of her daughters name "Don't worry, everything is going to be just fine."

* * *

Will he make it in time? I guess you'll have to wait and find out! Have a good weekend everyone!


	18. Nerves

Hey eeryone! Next chapter is up. I just wanted to let everyone know how grateful I am for all the reviews! Also, this story is nowhere near done. Don't think that the story ends with a baby being born...there is lots more to come. So if your willing to stick around, I'll keep writing!

* * *

"Just hold my hand, Blair." Serena said grabbing the sweaty girl's hand.

"It's just so damn hot in here." She said with a frown, pulling her hand away. She swallowed another icecube "Do you know if his flight landed yet?"

Serena checked her phone for the time and shook her head. She wrinkled her nose "No, he doesn't land for another four hours. How are you holding up? Think you can keep that sucker in for a little longer?"

Blair smiled, exhausted "I'm trying."

Serena's smile dropped "You know, Blair, it'll be okay. Even if he doesn't make it in time. What's important is that your fine and the baby is fine."

Blair nodded and started to cry "We didn't even get time to pick a name. Our baby is nameless."

"Blair...B, it'll be okay. Calm down." Serena giggled. It was hard not to laugh. Blair was busy crying about her baby's name, when this whole event should have been a happy occasion.

"No, it won't. This has to be some kind of sign. These things don't just happen for no reason. I'm doomed...Chuck and me are doomed."

"Hey, Blair, no your not. You have to believe that good things can happen in life. And if you wait, I promise things will get better for you."

Blair nodded and stayed quiet for what seemed like hours. She sniffed and a small smile appeared across her face "How do you know that? How can you be so sure?"

"Because he brings out of a part of you that I don't think anyone realized was there. He makes you smile at the silliest things. And he doesn't get angry when you insult him."

* * *

"Blair, wake up! Chuck's on the phone." Serena whispered to a sleeping Blair. She had gone with the drugs in the end. It helped pass the time.

Blair's eyes opened and widened "Did his flight land?"

Serena shrugged and passed Blair her cellphone "Where are you? You're on your way, right?" She said into the phone, hearing the the sound of voices in the background. They weren't English voices but they weren't Italien ones either.

_"Blair, I'm so sorry. I'm stuck in Amsterdam. They overbooked the flight and by the time I got to the terminal, the plane was full."_

"You're telling me your not going to make it in time?" Her face went pale as it hit her.

_"I'll try but I don't know. How much longer do you think you have?"_

"The doctor checked me about an hour ago. I'm a little over eight centimeters." She could hear him sigh on the other end. That was it.

_"Damn it, Blair, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have left you there."_

"Yeah, it your fault. And thanks to you, I'm stuck giving birth to our baby in some damn foreign hospital."

_Chuck couldn't help but smile. Our baby. It wasn't her baby anymore, it was theirs "I don't know what to say, Blair. How about you phone me when it's time and I'll stay on the line with you through it?"_

"I can do this without you. I don't need your help." She hung up the phone and turned to Serena.

She just shook her head and smiled "You've finally lost it. Why would you push him away like that?"

Blair sighed and shrugged "I'm scared."

* * *

"It's time, Blair." The doctor said in his heavy accent "Ve vill get this baby out within the next minutes. But you'll have to help. Think you can do that?" He said from in between her legs. She had been pushing for almost two hours and nothing. The baby just wouldn't budge.

"Can't you just knock me out and push on my stomach till the little sucker slides out?" She was trying to make jokes. All of this freaked her out. It was all she had left to try and convince herself that she could do this.

"Blair, please, if this doesn't vork, ve'll have to do a cesarean. Take another deep breathe and push down as hard as you can."

She sucked in her breathe and pushed down, way down. She was tired, sweaty, sticky, and afraid. All she wanted to do was crawl under the covers and sleep, just like she did when her mother left her. Just like Nate hadn't come looking for her. Like Chuck had wasn't there right now. Just like her father had moved away. She stopped pushing and gasped for a breathe "I can't. S, I can't anymore." She turned to Serena, who was squeezing her hand tightly.

"It's okay, Blair, you can do this. Just think about everything you've been through. Just...push all of that away."

"No, Serena, I can't do this anymore." She closed her eyes, trying not to throw up again.

"Yes you can." A deeper voice in the room said. Blair wasn't even sure who was watching her lying here, crying about something that millions of woman did everyday.

"No, Chuck, I can't." She paused as the words ran off her tongue. Had she just said his name? Why had she jusr said his name? She opened her eyes and saw why "You made it. You came." She smiled and stuck her other hand out, the one Serena wasn't holding.

"I made it. Even thought you treated me like shit on the phone. I came just for you."

"I do need you. I realize that now. I can't do this without you." And so he grabbed her hand and held on tight as she finished her first job as a new mother. It was okay that she wasn't as independent as she thought she was. Sometimes it's better to know the person you love helped you get to the finish line. It makes it all just a little more memorable.

* * *

"Dylan Bartholomew Bass." She smiled and patted down the tightly wrapped baby in her arms. She frowned and looked up at Chuck "Did we really have to name him after your father?"

Chuck shrugged "It's my middle name too. And besides, my father isn't a bad man. He taught me alot about life. He said he didn't want me making the same mistakes as he did when he was my age. He inspired me to never give up on the things you want the most." He smiled and lifted the little baby from Blair's arms. "Too bad he doesn't know about you yet." Chuck said to the little baby "He still has no idea."


	19. Things Change

**2 Weeks Later**

She curled up next to him, nuzzling into his neck "Do we really need a nanny? I mean, I'm sure we can do this on our own." Blair said looking over at Dylan, laying beside her on Chuck's chest.

"Blair, it might be summer but in a couple of weeks, school starts again. Do you honestly tell me you plan on juggling classes with this little guy? I mean, I think he'll fit in your bag...but he could get a little noisy"

Blair giggled and nodded "Fine, but I'll be doing the interviewing. I don't trust just anyone."

"You trust me though, right?" He said with a raise of an eyebrow.

Blair frowned "Yeah, of course I do. But what does that have to do with nannies?"

"Nothing. Just checking." He closed his eyes and smiled.

* * *

"Ready to go home, for real this time?" Chuck said squeezing Blair's hand as the three of them got into the helicopter "Ready to face everyone?"

"Not everyone." She shook her head. Chuck assumed this was her mother, by the look on her face. She gave him a little smile. That's what she hoped he would assume.

"Don't worry too much about it, okay? She'll come around. Like I told you."

Blair decided to go with it "What if she doesn't? What if this is really the way our relationship is going to end. What do I do then?"

Chuck stays silent for a moment "You'll stay with me, of course."

* * *

"Mom," Blair said walking into the penthouse. She had little Dylan waiting for her in the limo with Chuck. She had decided that her mother didn't deserve to see him. Atleast not yet "I came to talk. Will you listen? For once, please?"

Her mother's mouth twisted as if she was about to stay something nasty "Fine,"

"Great." Blair breathed out a sigh of relief. She wasn't sure what Plan B would have been if her mother had said no. She walked past her mother into the living room "Aren't you going to ask? I mean, do you care that little about your own blood?" She said sitting down on the couch and crossing her legs.

"Blair, I..." Eleanor shook her head, staring down at the ground.

"Forget it." Blair sighed and rubbed her knees "I'm not here to talk about the baby. I came here to tell you I forgive you. Not because I want to but because I'm tired. I'm _so_ tired of all of this. This is suppose to be the happiest time in my life and all I can think about is how you kicked me to the curb...literally."

"I'm sorry for that but I had my reasons. You were getting out of control. I needed to take control of the situation."

"Don't you think that I was out of control before all of this. I got pregnant, for God's sake, Mother!" She yelled, her face turning red. She clenched her fists and closed her eyes "I'll be living with Chuck, so you'll know where to find me if you ever decide to forgive me." She gave her mother a small smile and walked past her back into the elevator. She decided none of it was worth it. Her mother couldn't spoil how happy she felt.

* * *

"Father." Chuck nodded, smiling at Bart. Both men were dressed in suits, standing opposite each other.

"Where the hell have you been for the last two months, Chuck? If it wasn't for the four short phone calls I got from you, I would have expected your body to turn up somewhere." That's all he would be getting. Bart wasn't the sort of father to say something like: _'You scared the shit out of me! I was so afraid I had lost you.'_

Chuck scoffed "Actually, that's why I came over here. There's something I wanted to tell you."

"Well, what is it, Charles? I have a meeting to get to in exactly twenty three minutes."

"I'll make it fast, to spare you the dirty details." Chuck said waving a hand at his father. He sighed before continuing "I believe I might be the father of Blair's baby. I mean, he might be my son." He swallowed and looked down at the ground.

"What do you expect me to say, Chuck? Nice job! That's something you can check off your list of things to do before you die. To tell you the truth, I've known about this for the last three weeks. Eleanor told me after she came back from a...bussiness trip. It all makes just a little more sense now." His voice was hard and cold "And I've thought about what I plan on doing about all of this. You're cut off completely, Chuck. Financially, your on your own."

"Dad...your not serious, are you?" Chuck shook his head and took a step away from his father. His face was slowly turning pale "You can't just disown me. And it wouldn't be just me. It would be _them_ too."

"That's my final decision. You have to be out of your hotel room by 11 am tomorrow." He went back to typing things into his blackberry.

"And to think I named him after you..." Chuck shook his head and walked out.

* * *

"S, have you seen Chuck?" Blair said into her phone, rocking a crying baby back and forth "He never came home last night. I was wondering if maybe he had stayed with the van der Bass's. But now that I think about it...why would he do that? Then I was thinking maybe he had stayed late at Victrola. Why would he stay _all night_ though? Unless he picked up some half naked hooker on the way home. It's probably because I told him yesterday that he wouldn't be getting any action for a while. It's not my fault though...my body looks like shit."

"Blair, calm down." Serena said with a little laugh "No, he didn't sleep here last night. I can promise you he didn't pick up a hooker. You don't look like shit."

"Where is he then?" Blair said placing Dylan back into his crib. He seemed to be quieting down. She heard a knock at the door and shuffled closer to it "Umm, Serena, call me back in ten. Someone's at the door."

Blair pulled the door open, expecting to see Chuck but was shocked at who she saw instead "Ms. Waldorf, Mr. Bass had ordered that you clear out this hotel room in the next hour. We will check back with you in forty minutes to see if you need any assistance." He had a small smile plastered across his face. He was tall, blond, and his name tag read: _Josh, Bell Boy._

"Why would Bart want me out of this hotel room. This is Chuck's suite..." She frowned and pointed at all their stuff, spread out across the room. Chuck was gone, he was _gone_. It all started to make sense. Under her breathe she whispered "Jackass..."

"Excuse me?" Josh raised an eyebrow. He was kind of cute; in a weird Bell Boy sort of way.

"I've seen you working here for the last few months. You're really good at what you do." She smiled and licked her lips. If she could just get him to give her a little more time...just a little while longer. She could have enough time to hunt Chuck down, hang him upside down...naked, and threaten him with a pair of kitchen scissors "Carrying all those bags, up and down floors...not even Chuck can do that."

"It really just takes a bit of practice." Josh said patting down one of his buff upper arms. He winked and gave her a smile. _Cocky_.

"Oh, could I just have a little peak?" Blair pulled him into the apartment by his arm and closed the door. His jacket and shirt were removed in one quick, swift motion. She had a plan. A kiss was planted on her neck and she returned it by giving him one on his well toned stomach.

"Are you this nice to all the Bell Boys?" He laughed a little as Blair pushed him onto the bed. Without a word, she climbed ontop of him. Straddling him, she pulled off his belt. She prayed Chuck wouldn't choose to come back at that exact moment. This wasn't what it looked liked. It really wasn't.

"Do you have anything with you? I mean, like, protection?" She whispered in his ear, staying ontop of his.

"No," Josh said with a sigh "Fuck."

Blair smiled triumphantly "Aw, well maybe next time." She hopped off the bed and straightened her dress "But wait, Chuck and I are getting kicked out of the hotel. Too bad, it could have been good." She picked up his jacket and shirt from the floor, straightening them out.

"I could give you until tomorrow. I'll come back tomorrow morning, around this time." He stuttered, taking the jacket and shirt from her "Maybe then we could, um, finish what we started."

"Good idea!" She walked to the door and opened it for him. She was planning on being out of this room by the afternoon, taking her son and all their crap with her "See you then!" He walked past her and she slammed the door in his face. Her phone rang and she picked up "Serena, I think I know _exactly_ why Chuck didn't come home last night."

* * *

"What are you going to do, Blair? Leave him because he was afraid to tell you his father did the same thing your mother did?" The two of them were in Serena's room, sitting and watching Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Blair sighed and crossed her arms over her chest "No, I'm not going to leave him. I realize he probably just feels...lost. Like he doesn't know how to take care of Dylan and me. I just need to tell him that he isn't in this alone. I'm here too." There was a knock on the door and it made Blair wince.

"Do you want to answer it or should I?" Serena said, playing with Blair's long, curly hair.

"I'll do it." Blair said angrily getting off the bed. She walked over to the door and pulled it over violently. He stood there infront of her, his hair matted down and eyes squinting in the light.

"Hi." He said, leaning against the door frame.

"I shouldn't even let you in here." She spat, looking him up and down.

"I need to talk to you." He said straightening up, looking offended. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into the hallway.

"Chuck, that hurts." She looked him straight in the eye and tried to pull her arm out of his grasp. He help on a little tighter, twisting her wrist until she was almost screaming "Chuck, damn it, you're hurting me!"

"Well, you hurt me!" He pulled her closer to him. She could smell the alcohol on his breathe. It was mixed with something sour, vomit. He pulled out his cellphone and read what it said out to her:

Hey Upper East Siders,

It seems the truth is out about **B** and **C**, the naked truth that is. Josh, a bell boy for **C's** daddies hotel, was spotted leaving **B** and **C's** suite half naked. If it wasn't for **C's** one man booze party late last night and early this morning, we might actually concluded that they were enjoying a little _menage a trois_. Table for three, anyone? So, **B**, how do you plan on explaining this one? Please, do share with the class.

xoxo,

Gossip Girl

Chuck looked up from his phone "Oh, but it's not done yet, Blair. You see, about five minutes after I got that message...this one popped up."

Hey Upper East Siders,

Josh, the bell boy, has just informed us of what happened behind the curtains. Or should I say, under the covers. I'm going to leave you with that. And **B**, I'd go hide somewhere far, far away if I were you. But stay away from those bed covers. They only bring trouble.

xoxo

Gossip Girl

"What the hell were you thinking, Blair?" His yelling was turning his face a beet red color "I thought you wanted to make us _work_. I thought you _loved_ me."

"I do love you, Chuck. _Nothing _happened. You're going to believe _Gossip Girl_ over me? _Nothing _happened." Tears were stinging her eyes. She was afraid of him. Or more of what he could do. "Please, Chuck, please."

"Nothing happened?" Chuck looked into her eyes, noticing her fear. He lowered his voice "You promise?"

"I promise. Just let go, please."

Chuck loosened his grasp on her wrist slightly. It was just enough for Blair to slip through his fingers. They just stood there for a few minutes, looking down at the floor "I recommend you go somewhere else now, Chuck. Somewhere that doesn't involve drinking more." She turned and grabbed the handle of the door.

"Blair..." Here was his apology. She was sure of it "Please, don't tell Serena about all of this." He looked sorry, if that counted for anything "You should probably put some ice on your arm."

"Yeah," She felt like running into his arms, letting him hold her. The person who had grabbed her like that, yelled about nothing; that person wasn't Chuck. "Go sober up. I'll see you later." And then she was gone.

* * *

So, I just wanted to tell everyone that I am not, in any way, anti-Blair/Chuck. I absolutely love them together. So let me know what you thought about this chapter. It was pretty long, more than twice what I usually write but I thought there were alot of important scenes that needs to be included.


	20. Til The End

Here is chapter #20! I also noticed that the story reached 200 reviews! It's all very exciting, lol. Enjoy :)

* * *

"Can I tell you something? Promise you won't get mad?" She looked down at Dylan, who was laying on her lap. He gave her a little gurgle._ Of course I won't _"You scare the hell out of me. I mean, I don't even know how to do any of this. Me with a baby? It's ridiculous, right?" Dylan wiggled around and gave out a cry. "Thanks, that's what I thought."

* * *

Nate opened his door, realizing how different she was. Her hair was almost down to the middle of her back, her skin was tanned and her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes seemed tired and sad "Hi." She said, bouncing a fussy Dylan over her shoulder "Can I come in?"

"Of course, yes." Nate stuttered, pulling the door open a little further. He couldn't believe she was here, with the baby, infront of him. "Hi."

She smiled and stepped inside. "Hi."

"It's been a long time." He said with a nod, looking at Dylan. He wanted to see if the baby resembled him or Chuck but all she could see was Blair in the baby's face. He opened his slowly "Can I hold him?"

"Yes, of course." She lifted the bag off her shoulder, putting it down by the door then gently passed her son to Nate "Here. His name is Dylan, by the way. Dylan Bartholomew Bass."

Nate smiled as Dylan grabbed a finger and squeezed it "So he's Chuck's, is he? Or did you just put him as the father on the birth certificate to make him happy." The last part came out a litter harsher than he had meant it to.

Blair stayed silent and shrugged "So, the reason I came over was to tell you that I'm sorry that I ran away. I know it wasn't something you were expecting days before the wedding."

Nate sighed and walked into the dining room. Blair followed him, waiting for his response "To be honest, it wasn't that much of a surprise. When I went to Serena to show her the note, I told her that I had always knew your heart didn't belong to me. Atleast not all of it. I just ended up being right."

"Yeah, you were right. But it doesn't change the fact that what I did to you was _horrible_. You have no idea how guilty I've felt the last few months"

"I forgive you because you forgave me for sleeping with Serena. We're equal now."

Blair nodded "I did forgive you,even though you didn't deserve it. You not only slept with her, Nate, you _fell in love_ with her." She was getting angry again. This wasn't why she had come over. So she changed the subject "I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to help me with something. Chuck's is having some issues with his dad. It's made him a little...tense. I was hoping you could help me cheer him up a little bit."

"He wouldn't want me helping you. We aren't exactly on speaking terms anymore. My help wouldn't mean a thing to him."

"He doesn't have to know you helped. Just help me to help him. Maybe someday you can say 'Hey, Chuck, did you know I helped cheer you up that one time? Even though you thought I hated your guts?'" Blair said with a smile, taking Dylan back.

"Fine," Nate said nodding his head, laughing "But only if you promise me that he won't find out. I don't want him thinking I did this to get closer to you."

"He won't know you helped me, I promise." Blair said, relieved to hear Nate wasn't doing this for her. They were both just looking to get back into Chuck's heart. "So have any idea?"

"Yeah, a few. But it's really completely up to you whether you would be okay with doing it." He said, trailing his eyes from the baby in her arms up to her eyes. The way he still looked at her made her nervous. They were friends. That was it.

"What is it?" She said pulling a face "It's not like, _dirty_ or something, or is it?"

"No, of course not." He said laughing "Do you love him, Blair? I mean, do you love him enough to spend the rest of your life with him?"

"Yes, of course. I think I know what your thinking." She said with a smile, getting excited about the idea of proposing to Chuck. She realized who this idea had come from and it made her uncomfortable "How are you even okay with this though, Nate?"

"I just want you to be happy, Blair." He said with a shrug, running a finger up and down Dylan's arm "If you're happy with him, who am I to stand in the way?"

"I don't know what to say. But thank you, I guess."

"You're welcome." He said with a smile. She could see it in his eyes though, it broke him up inside. "So, how do you want to do this thing?"

"I think I've got a few ideas." She said with a wink.

* * *

"Chuck!" She said putting down her bag and running into his arms "Hi."

"Hi." He said quietly back, wrapping his arms around her "I'm sorry, I freaked out like that before. It won't happen again. I promise."

"Yeah, you're right, it won't happen again." She said pulling away and looking him straight in the eye.

"I know, it won't. I was just trying to deal with the idea of caring for this family all on my own."

"But you're not going to need to care for this family all on your own. We can figure this out _together_." She put a hand on either side of his face, pressing her forehead against his. "We're in this together, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." He said with a smirk. He lifted her up, so her legs were wrapped around his waist "Where's Dylan?"

"With Serena. She and Dan wanted to play house." She said matter of factly, unbuttoning his shirt "They're taking him for a walk in Central Park."

"So we're alone?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We've got hours to ourselves" She smiled as he walked the two of them over to the bed "Have anything in mind to pass the time?"

"I've got a few." Chuck dropped the two of them onto the bed, putting all his weight ontop of her. He kissed her, slipping his tongue deep inside her mouth. She pulled her silk dress up and over her head, leaving her in only her lacy bra and thong. "I'm sorry that I hurt, Blair." He said, kissing her arm, noticing the faint blue and purple mark he had left there "And I'm sorry I ever thought you would cheat on me. I love you, you know that?"

"I do and I love you too." She smiled, kissing him back. It didn't matter anymore. Whatever happened from now on, they were in it together. For better or for worse.


	21. Just Talking

Blair fiddled with her key, finally getting it into the right hole. She pushed the Pent House button and instantly the the elevator began to move up. Dylan started crying and she have him a sympathetic look "I know how you feel buddy, I haven't had a good nights sleep since we got back from Tuscany."

The elevator made a _Bing!_ sound and the door opened. She pushed the stroller ahead of her into the large living room. She could hear the opening of drawers up stairs. It was 5:30 in the afternoon. She knew Bart worked until 9 and Lily and Erik were doing the whole counseling thing, even though his attempted suicide was more than a year ago. She picked Dylan up out of the stroller, cradling him in her arms. She made her way up the stairs, realizing the noise was coming from Serena's room. "Serena, is that you?"

"Yeah, Blair, I'm up here!" She yelled, popping her head out of the door for one quick second.

"What are you doing, Serena? You sound like you're moving the furniture."

"Blair, you can't stay here anymore." Serena said shaking her head. She was organizing Blair's things including her dresses, shoes, baby clothes, and the diapers.

"What are you talking about? What happened?" Blair said shaking her head in return. They had been sneaking into Serena's room for the last few days, always waiting until after Bart and Lily went to bed.

"My mom and Bart found out that I've been letting you two sleep in my room. If it was up to my mom, you'd have your own room but Bart...that's a different story."

"Where do you expect us stay, Serena? Don't you remember, my mother kicked me out as well." Blair raised her voice, feeling the blood pulsing through the veins in her neck.

"Maybe you could go back to her and tell her that you have no where else to live. B, she might say bad things sometimes but she doesn't mean any of it. She isn't as bad as you think she is."

"How do you know, Serena? She seems pretty shitty to me."

Serena smiled and tilted her head. "Because I hate Chuck more than I probably should. And you love him." She pulled the elastic that she had around her wrist off and ran her fingers through her hair. She bunched up her mass of hair, pulled the elastic over it to keep it in place. "Doesn't that already tell you something?"

* * *

"I'm not here because I want to be. So don't think that you've won." She said walking into the living room. Her mother shifted on her feet and crossed her arms.

"This was never a battle, Blair. Nobody wins anything out of this."

"Then why are you so stubborn? I told you, I forgive you, that I am willing to put everything behind me. You are the one who hasn't done anything."

"Why am I stubborn, Blair? I don't know. Maybe it's because I thought you were going to be successful someday. You were always such a perfect little girl. _My_ little girl." She shook her head and sighed "You've just changed a lot. Or maybe you didn't change. Maybe I finally realized some things about you."

"Like what? What have you now realized?" Blair wanted to leave. This was useless. Her mother was always going to think of her as her slutty daughter who didn't even know who the father of her child was.

Eleanor smiled and put a hand on both of Blair shoulders "Look at you. I haven't seen you in over a month. You've taken care of a newborn baby all on your own. You've changed, Blair."

"That's a good thing, right?" Blair frowned, wondering why her mother was being to nice.

"Yes, it's a good thing. You've done good. I'm proud of you." Her mother said with a weary smile.

"Thanks. So can I come home?" She asked, hoping her mother wouldn't turn her away.

"Yes, _of course_ you can come home." Her mother said with a nod.

* * *

"So, are you and your parents planning on going to Southampton again this year? I know they were thinking about selling the beach house after your dad entered rehab." Blair said pushing the stroller ahead of her. She and Nate were taking a way through Central Park, talking about the plans for her surprise engagement to Chuck.

"I'm not really sure. We are going there next week, for about three weeks. "

Blair smiled "Well, I might be going too. At least if things with my mother gets better, soon. She bought us this old Victorian in the middle of the town. It was right before I told her I was pregnant. I think she noticed I was acting weird and was afraid that my '_condition_' had returned. She thought that a house there would help me relax and get back on track."

Nate nodded and kept his head down "How is your condition going these days anyway, Blair?"

Blair sighed and shrugged "It's tough, definitely. My body feel apart after this baby. I try but you know how that goes. When you want something to happen, it's going to happen." She was surprised that he had brought it up. He had found out about her bulimia last year, after her mother forced her to enter a rehab clinic for the summer.

"Does he know, yet? I mean, have you told him about it? I'm sure he'll be supportive."

She shook her head "No, i haven't. I don't know how he would take the news that both of us are going through something shitty. Him and his alcohol and me and my eating disorder." She said laughing, trying to lighten the conversation.

"Hey, maybe he'd understand." Nate said with a shrug. Blair nodded and looked past them at the boy standing there. Her stomach clenched, realizing who is was. _Chuck._

"Oh, damn it. He's sees us. I should go." She muttered, walked past Nate, still pushing the stroller. She paused and looked back at Nate one last time "Are you sure you're still okay with all of this?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Go be happy, Blair." He said with a laugh, waving his hand at her to go away before Chuck got too mad.

"I don't even want to talk to you right now." He said shaking his head "I was just beginning to trust you again."

"Screw you, Chuck. I can't help it that you're going psychotic." She walked past him, looking down to see Dylan fast asleep.

"What were you doing with him then? What do you have left to say to him?" He yelled, noticing Nate standing at a distance, listening to everything he was saying.

She wasn't going to let Chuck know that he was helping her plan her surprise engagement. She had promised Nate that she wouldn't "First of all, I can talk to anyone I want. You can't decide who I can and cannot see. I was talking to him because I wanted to _talk _to him. _Talk_, Chuck, that's _all_." She yelled back at the same volume. People who walked past them would stare and shake their heads. "And it's really pissing me off that I can't even talk to a guy I've know all my life without you freaking out."

"But he isn't just any guy, Blair. He was more than that before you decided to stay with me." His voice was beginning to crack up, like there were tears he was trying to hold back.

"Will you stop all of this, Chuck? Stop worrying that I'll change my mind, _again_." She cleared her voice and whispered the rest "And if you continue doubting my love for you then you are just as useless as Nate was." Then she briskly walked back to Nate, not even turning back to see Chuck's expression.

"Nate, will you do something for me?" Blair sad in a calm voice. She wasn't sure what she felt more like doing, crying or screaming.

* * *

Chuck walked down the street, unzipping his jacket to take in the cool evening summer air. He hadn't spoken to Blair since their fight in the park that morning and he wondered where she had gone. He had gone back to his father's house and Serena had told him that Blair had moved out and that she had promised Blair not to tell him where she was staying. He regreted freaking out at Blair, especially because she always seemed to innocent. He would yell and she would look at him like he was crazy. Maybe he was crazy. Maybe he was losing his mind.

A limo pulled up beside him and the window was slowly rolled down "Need a ride?" Blair said smiling slightly.

"Hey," Chuck said pulling the door open. He noticed that she was dressed in a long, green gown.

"I have a surprise for you." She grinned poured him a glass of champagne.

"Let me guess, it involves getting really, really drunk."

She shook her head "Nope," Behind her, she pulled out a white manila folder. She gave him a small smile, passing the folder to him "This is how much I love you."

He eyes her as he took the folder and pulled out its contents. Inside was a booklet. When he was finished reading the papers, he shook his head "How did you even do this?"

"My mom knows someone who works there. I took Nate and Dylan with me. They did the test on Nate and excluded him as the father." She smiled and took the papers back "Happy now?"

"Yeah, I'm happy." He grinned, his voice cracking up slightly.

"Good. Now let me get to the second part of why I asked you to get into this limo with me." She put her hand behind her, trying to find what she was looking for. _The box._

"Is this the dirty part?" His eyes moved from hers to her arms, trying to see what she had in her hands.

"Ew, no, it's not." Blair said pulling a face. She pulled one hand out from behind her back, smacking him on the cheek "We did that _once_, it's time to move on."

"What's the surprise then?" Chuck raised an eyebrow, putting a hand on the red mark she had left on his cheek.

"I'm getting to that. My surprise is..." She wiggled her bum a bit and straightened her back, as if to get more comfortable for what was coming next."Chuck Bass, official teenage father of my illegitimate child," She smiled and tilted her head. "Hottest and horniest man alive, and of course, love of my life...will you marry me?"

* * *

So the next chapter will be the last one. It'll just wrap up everything.


	22. Surviving

* * *

"Of course I'll marry you." Chuck said holding her head in both his hands. He smiled and shook his head "I can't believe I just said that."

"Didn't think we'd end up here, did you?" Blair said smiling back "Are you sure we're ready to do this? I know I was the one to ask you but...are you sure?"

"I'm sure. We deserve some happiness, don't you think?"

* * *

_"Nate, before you go." Blair said running back to her desk and picking up a thick stack of papers "Last month, we had to write about how we met our first love and how it affected our lives." She fiddled with the corner of the booklet as she walked back to where he was standing. "I got an A+ because my professor decided that mine was the most honest. So I thought that you should have it because you deserved the truth."_

_She handed him the booklet and he nodded, looking down at the name of her story. **My Heart on His Sleeve **"Yeah, okay." He pulled open her door and walked out, beginning to read the story. It started out by stating the facts. 'Nate Archibald, six years old, was my first love.' Nate paused and looked back at her door. It was closed. She was gone and whatever she had written about him meant nothing anymore. Blair didn't belong to him. Her last words about 'that boy I used to love' would probably only have explained what he already understood. Blair was gone and she wasn't coming back. _

* * *

_"Hey, baby." Blair said into the phone. She was sitting on her bed in her dorm, painting her toes bright red "Mommy misses you so much."_

_"Blair?" Chuck said on the other end "He asked me today where Mommy was."_

_She put down the bottle of nail polish and sighed "What?"_

_"Yeah." He laughed "He came up to me and said 'Mommy still at Yale?'"_

_Blair giggled, imagining her Dylan asking Chuck all kinda of questions. She had missed out on so many things while she had been away for the last four months. It was those 'firsts' that she missed and would never get back. Those were the things that broke her heart "He's a very smart boy."_

_Chuck's voice went deeper, more serious "You know what he also said today?"_

_She smiled and leaned her head back against the wall next to her bed "What else did my brilliant boy say?"_

_There was a silence on the line before Chuck finally spoke "He said that Daddy must sure love Mommy to let her stay away for so long."_

_Blair swallowed and laughed a little into the phone "No he didn't, Chuck. He's sixteen months old."_

_"It's true though, isn't it? I must love you to death to let have let you go to Yale on your own."_

_Blair shook her head and leaned forward, placing a hand on her forehead "I love you, you know that? And I miss you every single day."_

_"I love you and I miss you too. Every single day." She could hear the smile in his voice. That was all he had wanted to hear from her. _

_Blair nodded "I'll talk to you later okay? Give my pumpkin a huge and kiss from me before he goes to bed tonight."_

_"Definitely."_

_She glanced at the picture of her family that sat on her nightstand. All three of them posing together. Chuck was glancing at Blair instead of the camera, with the biggest smile on his face. Blair was looking ahead, holding a eight month old Dylan in her arms. She hoped they could all be together someday. It was possible but it would need work. Their 'new life together' wasn't perfect, she knew that. But they loved each other to death. That love was what had helped them survive the past two years and she knew that it would help them survive many more, together. "Bye,"_


End file.
